Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
This is really an FtDL (**** the Dogs Life)
SundayNightSix 23
What I want to know is why the hell the "hot oven door" was able to be licked.. If he just walked over while you were still using it, then I feel more sorry for the dog that you left the hot oven open.. =/
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Comments (205)
KoalaBek 23
Looks more like the owners have "intelligence issues".
Shade1982 21
Actually, a lot of dog species show very intelligent behavior. On the other hand, some are just plain stupid.
more4me 27
Poor dog ! I hope he's ok and didn't get too badly burnt. Poor thing. Keep the dog and just teach him dome tricks. If he's too dumb to learn, he can still be a good loving companion, anyway. Getting rid of it, that's just mean. Dogs aren't disposable. They're people too!
jdogg14 7
I just recently got a puppy who I think is not all there mentally and were giving her away too so don't feel bad!
Omniprism 15
You guys are assholes for considering giving him away based on that. You should encourage him, play games with him and love him. Don't be dicks.
barneypurpledino 1
Poor dog! You should take care of him. Keeping the oven opened is not acceptable
lcordero0811 1
I hope you don't have kids with this guy. He might ask you to get rid of him or her to due the fcked up paternal genes he was unfortunately passed down :/
billyisgone 4
Why in the name of GOD do you leave the oven door open for extended periods of time while you argue with someone? That's just asking for something bad to happen. Also, remember that young dogs are like young kids. They learn from doing and learn from mistakes. He licked the door to see what it tasted like because it was new to him. You're an idiot for leaving it open and not paying attention to the dog you apparently love so much.
jamiennessey 3
First off, it's a puppy. Second off, ever heard of the word "train"? Lmao. Some people.
imabong 7
Ydi for leaving the oven opwn