Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
Today, our daughter brought home a stray dog without permission. When my husband came home we took it to a shelter, who sent us to another shelter half an hour out of our way. Then their ADHD asses both wanted coffee at 6pm. By the time we got home, my dinner, and only my dinner, was ruined. FML
Today, it became apparent that my new boyfriend has the mental process where unless you give him specific instructions, he can’t do anything right. Such as when asking him to let the dog out, it won’t occur to him to let the dog back in until I get home. By then the dog had destroyed the garden out of boredom. FML
Today, I sat my husband down for a talk for him to stop going to his female coworker’s house until 1-2am. He insists they’re doing work projects. He became so offended that I thought otherwise that he thrashed the entire living room, stomped out of the house, and slammed the door, completely dislodging it. FML
Today, my husband of 5 months admitted he is jealous of my dog. I've had the dog for 16 years. He admits to wanting to drop it off at the shelter while I'm at work. FML
Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML
Today, my ADHD has gotten so bad that I called my son by my brother’s name, bumped heads with my 2 year-old, and just now went to sit back down on the couch next to husband and accidentally elbowed him in the eye so badly that he went to sleep because he was so angry with me. Praying he doesn’t have a black eye tomorrow.. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, my overthinking and ADHD combo got so ridiculous that I found myself worrying about how my cat was going to be after he returned from the vet. Not if he was going to be okay or not, how he was going to behave. FML
Today, my father started nagging me about my husband's mental health. He doesn't understand why my husband can't just walk it off. FML
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Top comments
moonstar986 5
Sounds like you're right
captain_hero89 22
dogs are priority!
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Comments (73)
moonstar986 5
Sounds like you're right
captain_hero89 22
dogs are priority!
Welshite 40
I'm not ADHD, but I will drop everything to pet a puppy when I see one.
cantfixme36 28
ADHD isn't a thing you are, it's a thing you have... You just said "I am attention deficit hyperactivity disorder"
PePziNL 20
Well he said he isn't, so technically he's right...
BrotherPhil 35
That's debatable. Some say "have", some say "are". I'm ADOS myself - as you can tell, I'm in the "are" crowd, which from where I'm standing seems to be mainly auties, aspies, activists, etc.
katydid91 31
What is ADOS?
gw002m 6
He meant ASD. The ADOS is a measure used to diagnose autism- it stands for the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule.
humorousname 10
I'm ADHD so I can re-SQUIRREL
Armeniangirl_fml 15
me too!
deathstroke990 22
idk why jokes like this still go around, nobody says stuff like that when it comes to ocd, or anxiety they're getting really annoying it's not 2007 anymore
Mylehz 13
you're not funny
bazookajoey 27
Lighten up #12
Pffffffffffffff_fml 5
Real talk, why is the squirrel the go-to animal in ADHD jokes? Where do y'all live where a squirrel is interesting and uncommon? I'm more likely to be distracted by a slightly-uneven paint job on a fence than a squirrel. Just food for thought for when you wanna make fun of people with brain imbalances
Bearsmomma 30
it's comparing them to dogs. dogs, that often seen easily distracted. especially if they see a squirrel. Wasn't the movie "Up" where the reference came from?
deathstroke990 22
yeah
deathstroke990 22
17, they just get really old after a while yknow ? like I tell anyone I have add and they immediately make the squirrel joke ??? why
katachristic 19
I believe it's a reference to the movie "Up".
humorousname 10
I'm actually full adhd and I'll admit that a squirrel or other random animals have distracted me from conversations before, also it's a joke not a dick, don't take it so hard
childproofpizza 19
Hey 12, I suffer from severe ocd and I just- aw shit my bookshelf isn't symmetrical now I gotta go buy another red 1 1/2 inch book!
BlackHawkSavior 28
<<<Get a puppy like mine
smokecloud_ 37
<<<<<<Stop dog whoring.
BlackHawkSavior 28
<<<<<I'm sorry my dog caused you distress
doodlecloud 27
I'm more annoyed that the arrows do not actually point to the dog.
manofmerr 27
Now i want to know what they're pointing at?
SocialAmethyst 20
^
dom100inic 3
You just proved your point
PainInTheAsss 16
Take him to a doctor to get it checked out. It's for the best for your family.
BrotherPhil 35
"Take him" ? If he's old enough to get married, I'm pretty sure that he's old enough to go to the doctors by himself.
fantasyworld 39
Dogs are important.
jasonswife423 18
Point proven.
Fed21 16
I'd get distracted by a dog too...dogs are awesome :)