Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML
Today, I accidentally hit my dad in the eye with our dead dog's squeaky toy. He cried. FML
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
"You never take me seriously!" "How can I when you punctuate your sentences like a clown?"
easybree 10
idk… put it down?
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Comments (6)
easybree 10
idk… put it down?
Wadlaen 24
Ah, an argument with sound effects..!
BurnInDemonFire 39
"You never take me seriously!" "How can I when you punctuate your sentences like a clown?"
GoogieWithers 25
So you made your own cartoon sound effects?
Iamthebanzai22 21
Your dog is awesome!!!!
FluffythePink 24
You'd have won the argument with me purely because I wouldn't have been able to stop laughing long enough to talk.