Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML
Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
Today, I fell asleep while watching a movie. My puppy took this opportunity to help himself to half a gallon of vegetable oil. FML
Today, while taking out a jar of mayonnaise, it slipped from my hand, landing on its lid, exploding, and covering both of my dogs from head to tail in it. Terrified, they fled, leaving a trail of globs of mayo. After cleaning both dogs and the house, they both threw up from eating too much mayonnaise. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
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Top comments
iemislayer 10
Why do you have oil in the frier sitting in the cupboard??? It should always be drained before storing away
starcable 9
wow if I was the husband and my wife came home to that she probably kill me for not noticing something like that.
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Comments (82)
kkmwong 11
That's going to be a nightmare to clean.
Thursday737 7
And this is why dogs are stupid as ****. Hurr lets eat oil.
whiteboy896 9
Ill take a dog over a cat any day of the week.
iAlissa 34
22 - it's a dog. Oil probably smelled good to it. Just because it ate something that smelled appealing to it does not qualify the animal as stupid.
KayBeeFFFixed 5
I actually thought #22s comment was funny... But maybe just because the cat in his picture made me think of Garfield.
tjv3 10
That's a really stupid and smart dog
Ameel_fml 19
A dog is stupid.....because it ate something edible that smelled like something edible? Er...I'm not really seeing your logic here. Does that mean every time a person gets sick from food or every time a person over-eats they become an example of how stupid the human-race is?
Lizzy500 16
Mmmm pancreatitis.
Eorlas 31
This shouldn't be downvoted. Pets eating things they should not is a very serious health concern.
apax 9
Isn't the pancreas associated with sugar? IE insulen to lower blood sugar and glucagon to raise it in order to maintain balance? I'd maybe agree with a coronary risk, but it's a dog and I don't think they naturally live long enough for that to be much if a concern.
LarryLaDouche 13
As a Type 1 Diabetic I can confirm this. While fat doesn't directly overload your bloodstream with sugar, it makes it harder to dilute the sugar that is in your bloodstream. If anything this dog is just at risk for an upset stomach, indigestion, and diarrhea.
outoftown 27
Lots and lots of diarrhea
LarryLaDouche 13
Its gonna be like Wonka's chocolate river. With the occasional "chocolate morsel."
Ameel_fml 19
Actually, fatty foods and certain meats can cause pancreatitis in dogs, because they have trouble digesting it properly. My dog got pancreatitis because the chicken meat we gave her eat night had too much skin on it.
andyyroxx 20
The pancreas and liver in a dog does not have the same protease and lipase enzyme pool as other organisms - if it ingested enough, the bile ducts would have been rendered useless and possibly lead to worse than pancreatitis.
invivoful 10
I work at an animal hospital, and yes, dogs can get pancreatitis from fatty, rich foods. It's usually triggered by an abrupt change in diet. I've even seen some dogs get it while switching to another brand of dog food =/
Lizzy500 16
The pancreas is responsible for multiple digestive functions, not just insulin. Google canine pancreatitis, it's a real concern, especially if the dog keeps vomiting.
starcable 9
wow if I was the husband and my wife came home to that she probably kill me for not noticing something like that.
Sandman366 6
Must be a mansion to not hear anything but the TV, unless it's turned up so loud that the neighbors blocks away are calling cops on how loud it is. Trust me...you can hear animals puking even if you're trying very hard not to. (Unfortunately, much experience...)
xrudeboyrock 29
No need to get down on your family for it. If the dog wanted it, he was gonna get it.
daniel_dd31 13
NINJA DOG!!!
iemislayer 10
Why do you have oil in the frier sitting in the cupboard??? It should always be drained before storing away
Prolux_fml 23
Actually, pouring it clogs the pipes. Even if you wash it out with hot water and soap, that'll get it out of your pipes, but farther down the line it will clog again. My city runs ads on this all the time :P
timberwolf408 7
thats why you put the old oil in another empty container (got milk?) and bin it (or at least fridge it) thats just really poor hygiene!
LimeGreenQueen12 1
Disposing the oil after every use is just a waste. You can use it a few times before cleaning out. So it's normal to have leftover oil in it and store it away.
xyris_fml 28
what my dad does with his deep frier is he'll filter the oil into a container (usually the container it came from) for reuse a few times. that way he gets any debris out and doesn't waste the oil, but also doesn't just leave it in the frier. that's just an accident waiting to happen. when he's done with it and used it enough he disposes of it in an old can or something, never the sink
Pleonasm 36
Tell your husband and child they are have deep fried chicken tonight, with special sauce.
ManInTheMachine 20
"This sauce is extra creamy mom! What's in it?" (>.
ChristinaAAR 14
That's disturbingly gross lol.
pvpftw 4
Yeah
LarryLaDouche 13
Mmmm I've never had curried mashed potatoes before!
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
Dog sounds bored.. give him some physical activity ...
vadaaa 11
Make them clean it, OP. Maybe they'll watch the dog next time.
alycion 39
Doubt they'd clean it right. They obvious didn't care enough to take care of it when it happened. Dogs aren't normally quiet barfers.
Ukeee_X 19
Next time, empty and clean your fryer properly! Could be worse... As a child I coated myself and the floor in 2L of oil. Was impossible to pick up to wash me ;)