Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML
Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Clean sex is good sex.
toughchick14 15
Well at least you know that the sex was 99.9% clean!
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Comments (141)
r8drray 2
Inquiring minds want to know... Where exactly are you feeling pain??? Lol!
egrudy 9
Never keep those next to each other. Like laxative and Tylenol
stacyariel 6
I've done it with icy-hot . Bet hand sanitizer wasn't that bad .
maddiewoah 15
geez.. always check these things, no matter how unsexy it is to be reading labels while trying to get your freak on. o_o
Grauncho 27
He didn't miss. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Ukeee_X 19
Did the smell and texture not seem off? YDI my friend, even the most hot sex you still know what's happening.
emh86 14
Snap!
whY402Jay 12
Did you stop?
meagann01 4
Doesn't matter.. had.. No? Yeah okay.
whatsittuya 2
Op: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!?! Bf: you?! My penis is a lightsaber!!!