Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
"HAHAHA! Oh, shiii—" *slips* "Honey, quick, grab on to my toenail!" "Sounds logical to me. Here I goooo!"
pjsr 33
Kids these days! He's supposed to scrub your loofa with his knob.
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Comments (32)
AbeFrohman 10
With a loofa? Ouch!!!
Maloonatic 20
Why ouch?
Rawrshi 25
I'm pretty sure OP wasn't exactly sawing back and forth, #1. I know loofahs are usually quite rough, but you'd have to really try to hurt someone with one to cause pain. I'm sure OP's boyfriend was fine. Minus the bruised bum, of course.
pjsr 33
Kids these days! He's supposed to scrub your loofa with his knob.
EvilLittleMan 23
Any bruised egos?
crudeandrudeguy 29
If you're trying to heat things up then you wash it with your tongue, not some stupid spongy thing. A Hummer and soapy boobs will get any guy going!!!
TymeToTry_fml 11
unless this guy is gay in which case boobs probably wont :-)
Lalala579121 28
19 - Man boobs.
worldclassrager 41
Oompah loofa differie do your Boyfriend damaged you...oompah loofa digory de how stupid could he be?
Hamden824 23
What?!?
MetallicSkeleton 12
Is this English?
ClairvoyantVamp 19
#6 was alluding to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by replacing Loompa with Loofah. Still isn't very funny, but that's the intention.
Tripartita 45
"HAHAHA! Oh, shiii—" *slips* "Honey, quick, grab on to my toenail!" "Sounds logical to me. Here I goooo!"
mr_t_07 10
I am laughing unreasonably hard at this
atradr 8
All your comments are hilarious what the hell man.
tygerarmy 35
You did good by trying OP, maybe next time instead of the loofa you'll take a more hands on approach.
Regisord413 10
"Hands on" I see what you did there.
LyricaSilvan 30
Yikes. That could have gone better. But on the bright side, at least neither of you suffered worse injuries.
Zilten 10
I would consider a missing toenail a fairly bad injury
LyricaSilvan 30
Compared to a concussion or broken limb? Because those are equally likely when slipping in the bath, and hurt a hell of a lot more.
jcash52426 5
Unless you have a really big shower don't have sex in the shower, someone is going to get hurt!!!
ZaiopePerSe 15
loofahs are filled with bacteria. why you even own one is a question in and of itself
ThaBlaqMan 1
What would you recommend I use to shower with, #16?
zipJohn 16
Actually, if properly cared for and kept in an area that quickly dries the loofa, they're quite hygienic. Also maybe she replaces a loofa every two weeks... No sense in questioning why she owns one if she didn't mention it was from Christmas two years ago.
ZaiopePerSe 15
literally anything else, 23. 27, even if you take care of your loofah there will still be the fact that it's made from a crumpled mesh. dead skin gets stuck in there and other things get stuck on that.