Claire
Parkville, United States
Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Aberdeen, United Kingdom
Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML
sonofaneuroticwench
Rice Lake, United States
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
Anonymous
Love is blind
Today, my ex-wife confessed to me that she's in love with my father and broke down crying because he's never approved of her. FML
fuck off, dad
Colombia
Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML
Illinoisgirl
Hungary
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
nyx
San Francisco, United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML
Norwegian
Norway
Great, just great
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
paige
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
bestgirlfriend
Stockton-on-tees, United Kingdom
Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML
Anonymous
United States
This is fine
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
At least he thinks you'll be great at something?
Jonaahhhh 12
Tell him he will make a great estranged father.
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Comments (45)
sarahlouise0506 10
At least you'll still have the day of your dreams OP
Perception 6
...What?
gc327072 31
(a wedding)
i_wuz_nver_here 31
At least he thinks you'll be great at something?
HelloSirs 14
I was told I am great at ruining peoples lives :).
JenkJenks 6
If you're good at something, never do it for free
MrBrightside21 20
55 - I'm really good alone in my bed, but nobody pays me for that. :(
djgoreo 12
56-there's a bit of money in the business of pornography.
SexyQueen0905 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I say go for it! Everybody should strive for something! Your dad is hilarious.
TheZee 12
Go for what?
emeraldisle 30
Being an ex-wife.
ZombieSnoopy 9
More like her dad is wildly inappropriate....
Pharmgrl03 9
Just say your obviously your mother's child. Yay for divorce and getting all the money!
TheDrifter 24
Like 4 said, a lot of classless women view divorce like winning the alimony lottery, with a free, furnished house door prize.
emeraldisle 30
4 - you're
rattusrattus 19
@30 You probably have a better chance of winning a lottery jackpot than getting a plentiful alimony. It involves marrying a very rich but highly abusive or unfaithful douchebag, having kids with him, then divorcing him and suing for damages and child support along with alimony. Guys that rich aren't common, you know. It's probably easier to go to uni, get a good job, and then marry a guy of a similar income level who you actually love.
TheDrifter 24
42, I'm not sure on the math, but lottery seems like a good analogy to me. Though I have watched Springer and Maury, and it seems that some people are merrily fighting over a single wide trailer, seven kids and half of a part time landscaper's salary.
Pharmgrl03 9
Good grief have you people never heard of sarcasm.
zombieslayer83 19
Nothing like a fathers hopes and goals for his daughter.
SiriusBlack97 17
I wouldn't be surprised if he's an ex-husband
insertnameherr 11
Well at least you'll get married!
Teyros 24
Can we?
gc327072 31
^LOL
dalink 24
The ass bandit probably has a better chance than the pussycat... Unless she prefers batting left handed.
insertnameherr 11
#44 I don't think marrying a cat is legal where I come from, but I know some great felines who would just LOVE you!
Teyros 24
Aw ok. If that's really you then wow. Gorgeous!
Jonaahhhh 12
Tell him he will make a great estranged father.
Coop817 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You think your life sucks because your dad said you'll get divorced someday?
lilhellian 27
Isn't the fact that it sucked the reason why it's on "FuckMyLife"..
SoMuchSnailGame 3
I agree with nine. Her life is not ******...yet (according to her dad at least)
somecoolperson1 2
Yes, yes she does.
klovemachine 24
Her dad is one dumb bitch :-D