Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML
Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Clean sex is good sex.
toughchick14 15
Well at least you know that the sex was 99.9% clean!
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Comments (141)
yannabanah 9
sorry OP but YDI because who puts sanitizer next to lube?
crimsonlover4 31
Maybe after masturbating, OP liked to use hand sanitizer instead of washing her hands? Hmm, damn I have no idea.
Master0fTheDark 13
"It burns, it burns! But it feels so good!" I don't know what to tell you.
Kalipczo 21
He didn't smell the pungent scent if alcohol as soon as he squirted it out onto his hand?
rattusrattus 19
Probably you. Men are less likely to get thrush from putting soap on their genitalia. Sorry.
kalbrek009 20
Can't imagine what you could possibly have need for hand sanitizer in the bedroom. Also, it should never have been anywhere near the lube...what were you all thinking to put it there in the first place? FYL's
somecoolperson1 2
At least it wasn't super glue
xRezSynn 15
Well, now you're clean!
Leki_0609 11
YDI for having the hand sanitizer and the lube next to each other
theboy13 13
Why would you need more lube? Ur coochie is full of it and makes its own...
mbuck87 19
Wait till you get older buddy, then you might understand
CharresBarkrey 16
104 - I doubt it. He probably also thinks they're always "ready to go" with their self-produced lube.
jonathan1 4
Lmao!