ANON
Sacramento, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
idontlikebitter
Klingnau, Switzerland
Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML
Anonymous
Coming through
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Anonymous
Victoria, Canada
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
box bulge
China
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
brooke
United States
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
Bllllaaaaaah
Juno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wax on, wax off
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
pantyripper
Essendon, Australia
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
grossed out
Mount Prospect, United States
Grooooss!
Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Ouch
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Anon
Auckland, New Zealand
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Top comments
agentaquamarine 4
talk about ear-otic
ghostlilac 25
Andy Samberg? Is that you?
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Comments (180)
coldsteelstu 4
somethings are better left between your ear, your Q-tip, and you member. seriously, next time keep it to yourself.
LilMissHotHead 10
Why? How?
Dewoe 18
where did you get those Q-tips??!
Sencilia 14
Whats the name of that song.... oh yeah! "**** in my pants".
Goblin182 27
Note to self: Buy Q-Tip stock.
Darren22 12
well that was fast
CuMorrigu 14
Single. 43. NEED those q-tips. Especially if they come with a 5' 6" or so redhead.
M3DIC4T3 29
No offense but generally speaking, dating people you meet off of the FML website isn't going to work out well for you.
Lilxpie 18
At least you didn't get aroused by a cardboard box.
kasmol 16
I ear you saying you are aroused by aural sex.
alex540150 9
No joke, I was actually cleaning my ear with a Q-Tip when I read this (minus the...you know..) ^_^