Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Fresh and not Fit
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Coming through!
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML
Top comments
lorraineald 7
He could make great money mowing other people's lawns.
agentaquamarine 4
To be fair, riding lawn mowers looks fun as ****.
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Comments (95)
Tommiix 15
Always a good investment
TheCanucklehead 22
Cruise down the street
aintlifeapain 21
Someone like Lawn-mowing Crusoe?
AwkwardPartyBear 24
"They see me mowin', they hatin'..." (Sorry I'll crawl away now).
whiteboy896 9
Crusin down the street in my 6-4
iTerrorized 4
Dont quote me boy cuz i aint sais shit
cyanidesandwich 21
Sounds to me like someone has been playing Happy Wheels too much...
mattjamt 16
Install a turbocharger and a larger engine, and go for a ioy ride. Also, should probably install cupholders too!
cuddlefishtate 2
Nu
HowAreYouToday 34
Maybe he got sick of vacuuming.
lorraineald 7
He could make great money mowing other people's lawns.
mattjamt 16
1 acre of land = $75 and 1 acre of land takes 20 minutes to cut. Its easy money where I am.
GuessWhatKids 13
That's a terrible deal. And you must have one hell of a lawnmower to do an acre in 20 minutes.
caitlinjadee 8
I'm a qualified horticulturalist and ill do anyone's lawn if u live in Australia, Melbourne haha been impossible to find work even though I have a qualification. FML
JoeGrant 12
Your new method of commuting to work!
agentaquamarine 4
To be fair, riding lawn mowers looks fun as ****.
ghostlilac 25
Yeah, my dad just drives his around the block on occasion. Parents are weird.
AbstraktThoughts 13
Wait. You're not supposed to normally drive around in a lawnmower? It's what I use to get to my job interviews! :(
5oapbox 4
I guess that gets the "reliable mode of transport" question out of the way real fast.
mattjamt 16
We have a ride on mower worth over $100,000 at work. Paid for with tax payer money. Don't you love the US governments budgeting?
jennababe98 9
I'd ride them for days...if I could afford one.
skyeyez9 25
I have a john deer riding mower. Its alot more fun to cut the grass with that vs the push mower. It has a cup holder, cushy seat, headlights and goes pretty fast. There is also a group of riding mower people whose hobby is installing super fast engines on them, and racing it.
FairlyWise 9
It's probably a sexual thing you don't know about.
operator47 10
God yes! A thousand times yes!
THEsuperMANLYman 10
At least it's better than a Segway ;)
Irchell 17
No it's not.
Internetflakes 13
not at all sweetie.
woainishamu 21
He bought it for his wife.
RoboCunnilingus 23
That reminds me of that scene in Scary Movie... 3, I believe.
webbface 25
Or at least that's the excuse he is gonna use for getting it haha.
freshlybreezy 15
Maybe his embracing his redneck side and is gonna try racing lawn mowers?
ty7in_topic 31
This is one of the most confusing FML's I've ever read.
elgordogrande1 11
No, this one is pretty straightforward.
YayItsYasmine 11
How is this confusing?
NeighSoulSister 6
The dad bought a lawn mower that you can ride on. However, they do not have a lawn to mow. How are you confused?