ANON
Sacramento, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
idontlikebitter
Klingnau, Switzerland
Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML
Anonymous
Coming through
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Anonymous
Victoria, Canada
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
box bulge
China
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
brooke
United States
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
Bllllaaaaaah
Juno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wax on, wax off
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
pantyripper
Essendon, Australia
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
grossed out
Mount Prospect, United States
Grooooss!
Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Ouch
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Anon
Auckland, New Zealand
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Top comments
agentaquamarine 4
talk about ear-otic
ghostlilac 25
Andy Samberg? Is that you?
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Comments (180)
Joedbag 8
And the award for the most amusing finish in the week goes to
CrissyyyS2 22
I know cleaning your ears can give that good sensation and stuff... but damn bro, that's all it took for you?
150493x 29
The missing verse from The Lonely Island's "**** In My Pants".
onlymytwocents 9
If this I'd true. Good for you. All it is , is hyper sensitive nerve ending sending impulses to the pleasure center of your brain. Think of it as a bonus.
symbiotic91 0
I think it should go " while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, i jizzed in my pants." If you dont know where thats from watch **** in my pants by lonely island
etishuman22 32
As if the rest of the internet lives under a rock.
token_blackguy 18
Eargasm, not just for great music anymore.
supernaturalcat 12
Seriously.. Is this a common thing or is OP just special? Wow the things I learn on FML. Congratulations OP! I'm not really sure FML is appropriate here.
DotDootyDot 17
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnh, I'm using an unsafe product to clean my ears... I feel so... NAUGHTY. NNNHYEAHBABY.
vipirius 18
How are q-tips unsafe?
TattooInvasion 14
They supposedly push the wax farther in your ear. And you can jab your eardrum. personally I think it's bullshit. im not leaving my ears gross for weeks so I can ear-candle. or use that vaccuum thing. scarey.
RandomHavoc1 13
did anyone else read this in an Austin Powers voice?
alycion 39
Now I know why my husband cleans his ears constantly. And I just thought it was an OCD thing.
FMLbutYDI 17
This is such a fake FML.