I am the passenger

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

Top o' the mornin' to ya

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

Creepy Crawly

Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML

Creepy crawlies

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML