Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Whoops
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
Pain like no one has ever seen before
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Can't be late!
Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
John Tucker would've known what to do.
Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
Unexpected
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Ripper
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Top comments
ritzbits 0
how did this phenomenon occur?
Rdvlvt 0
Guess you'll be bleeding twice this month
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Comments (316)
ritzbits 0
how did this phenomenon occur?
sparklybetty 0
Fat pussy o.O
ChrisLTC 3
Someone's got an outie!
gunmania0 12
Pussy Galore!
Enslaved 38
40, James Bond 007 fan? (: Goldfingers!
gunmania0 12
Damn right 43! That would be the best James Bond **** title mash up!
StoryOfTheYear 15
1- Hermaphrodite's are people too. Don't act like they don't exist.
enonymous 9
This chick probably has a huge ******** almost like a baby penis... Best kind of woman
Bekgq 3
48, no person can be a true hermaphrodite. You mean intersexed.
hinchkongfang 0
Big flaps are big... And I love a big clitirous!!!
hinchkongfang 0
Did anyone notice her name?? Box bulge?? Guess its not hair that got caught huh??
xmidnightxlonerx 12
Camel toe
spacemanspiff78 7
Guess someone has a full roast beef sandwich down there, huh?
You_Need_Soap 6
********-Gigantus
fromthesuck 8
Right now I'm doing my best to imagine a nice body with a sexy mound, rather than the alternative of a fat body with extra skin
trgower13 0
Wizard sleeves!!
hinchkongfang 0
Hangs low like mouth of tired dog...
evilscorpi 29
commando??? either way its disgusting
Yodaevil 4
139, nice catch on the commando! She just has some serious meat flaps, that's all...
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Jerky curtains
TunechiXXL 0
Moose Knuckle!!!!!'
maurambie 9
Sloppy beef curtains
GreenAppleDP 0
153 - A "moose knuckle" is a male camel toe.
vegan_muffin 5
That's what I was thinking. Gross! Wear underwear when you try on pants please. For that matter, wear underwear when you try on ANY article of clothing, even underwear.
mikeyb102 0
Flappy labia?
Daralea 21
Still can't get over enon saying the best kind of women are the ones with dicks.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
she got a fat cat (:
abluekiwi 0
It's quite easy, no need to guess that much. She has way too many people/things going in her. ****.
AshleighNason 24
sounds like a mutation
Bekgq 3
Why was my comment thumbed down? It's a fact that people can't be hermaphrodites. That happens in snails and slugs. No shame in knowing the truth and using the right terms.
GreenAppleDP 0
Sounds like a FUPA.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Humans CAN be hermaphrodites. It occurs when fraternal twins (one male and one female) merge at a very early developmental stage in what is called chimerism. It's very rare, but there are recorded humans who have both ovaries and testes.
Bekgq 3
Chimerism is another form of intersexuality. A hermaphrodite is fully male and fully female which occurs in some animals as stated earlier. Having mixed genitalia is not the same thing. The term "hermaphrodite" has been an outdated and obsolete term for humans.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Hermaphrodite means male and female organs- overies and testes. Some chimeras do have both, which does make them a hermaphrodite. Ever hear the case of the man who was given a hystorectomy after going into the hospital for stomach pain which they discovered was being caused by a functional uterus and overies? Most chimeras are simply intersex (referring to ambiguous genitalua), but a handful are true hermaphrodites.
TunechiXXL 0
Moose knuckle is not a male camel toe assclown, unless you're into that sorta thing....
brokenhelix 4
You're an idiot. Urban dictionary yo' self befo' you wreck yo'self
Bekgq 3
"Hermaphrodite means male and female organs- overies [sic] and testes." And there has not been a case of that in humans (with functioning ovaries and testes). If there has been a case then this phenomenon is extremely rare. The cases known are those of pseudohermaphroditism. Intersexed people may produce eggs, sperm or are sterile. Whereas a true hermaphrodite would be capable of both carrying and fathering a child (or autofertilize). Carrying genetic material of a fraternal twin that was absorbed (i.e., chimerism) is not the same as being a true hermaphrodite.
ur2nvthis85 3
So you got a bigger size right?
MerrikBarbarian 9
Like I said its very rare but it does occur on occasion. Btw, asexual reproduction is something different and not required for hermaphrodism. When I had to research it there is maybe 50 or less cases in the entire world of human hermaphrodites, but it has happened. Btw functional sex organs are not needed- they just need to have overies and testes. We'd not say a man isn't really a man if his testes failed to work, or a woman who can't conceive not a woman. The most notable case occurred in India however. A man who appeared to be a normal man went to the er for abdominal pain. They diagnosed him with menstral cramps. He had a penis, testes, a uterus and rudimentary overies.
FlurffyPupQueen 7
Hermaphrodite- they can do themselves and give birth :) they are both the mommy and the daddy.
Bekgq 3
"When I had to research it there is maybe 50 or less cases in the entire world of human hermaphrodites, but it has happened." That's the point - it is extremely rare. The original poster I responded to was implying all intersexed people are hermaphrodites which obviously and statistically is not true. As I said before, to call them hermaphrodites - unless they are a part of this very rare percentage - is obsolete and the preferred term is intersex. It's about having respect for them, besides being terminologically correct.
MerrikBarbarian 9
And I just wanted to clarify since you said humans can never be hermaphrodites that they can in certain forms of chimerism, and which is different from intersex individuals. :) far from the norm but it happens. Then there is the whole issue of chromosomal males who are immune to testosterone and develop as women, but that's different again. Sex and gender is far more complex then many realize! :)
KoolKat369 5
U have a good point. Ew.
Bekgq 3
"... you said humans can never be hermaphrodites" I correct that - they can be, it's just a very rare occurrence. As to those who are true hermaphrodites, I still find it politically correct to call them intersexed unless they don't mind the technical term. "Sex and gender is far more complex then many realize! :)" Yes. I, myself, identify as genderqueer (hence the gq in my name).
minecraft_fml 4
Cameltoe
someone235 0
loose vag much? its ok my friends mom has that same thing according to her. but she has had 7 kids
TheGaulty 4
**** Flaps
saltcreep 5
Doesn't shave and wears serious thong. Also, these pants must be way too small.
akichan15 5
LOL @ 218
Ninjasaurus18 9
139- I noticed that too!!!
nlm92 15
23 enlarged labia is actually a medical condition
philerieburgh 2
That is false. Have you ever had human sexuality as a course?
tehslack 5
Perhaps it was a huge, nappy bush.
ydi_4_suking 20
Damn girl your lips must be huge!!
btstig 11
Where's the beef?!?!? Hahaha
thatguy32692 4
76- you my good sir WIN!
fymother 13
Perhaps they were skinny jeans...
GoingCommando93 14
Or perhaps age has a penis? I dunno just a thought.
ILUVMSC 5
Whaaaattt... ):/
momo1972 3
Or they are huge drooping lips....vaginal rejuvenation
tingway 4
time for a wax/shave.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Last time I read my high school anatomy book, hair was not genitals. Perhaps I need to get with the times?
absolutegrrr 7
Shave her genitals off? *shudder*
RedPillSucks 33
Called female circumcision. Not recommended, but it happens.
dcg1375 7
Yeah I don't think shaving is the answer her. Maybe just wearing some underwear to start off with? Especially if you are trying on pants that you don't own. Now if OP was actually wearing underwear already then there's a much LARGER issue here.
dcg1375 7
Correction: Answer here, not her. Sorry
ashwowa 14
hahaha
SPD935 5
*minion voice* WHAAAT?!
bhangu023 0
Hahahaha tht scene from "despicable me" was hilarious
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
E=MC ****** ;D
G_thelegend 0
-#98.. someone wrote that on the wall in my maths classroom o.O
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
112- lmao
caraisbeast 0
lmfao I read it in the voice(x
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
OMG I understand math now ????
TheBeastiest 6
How is this even possible? Extra skin? Sounds very painful. FYL
aloginnoonehas 0
Roast beef?
DCFan 9
Sideways Fur Burger.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Wizard sleeve.
welandedonthemoo 5
Box of cow toungs or tongs. However u spell it lol. Brain fart
palmergoesbig 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's disgusting and your disgusting.
VioletsarePurple 0
And you're a dick that doesn't sound like he has any right to be judgemental
RainbowHeadache 2
If she didn't take care of herself then that's disgusting. Just because her vag doesn't look like a prepubescent girl's doesn't mean she's gross & doesn't take care of herself. You sir are an asshat. The worst kind of hat.
satph 12
7- And I find you disgusting for being so mean. It's also disgusting that you don't know when to use 'your' and 'you're'.
tayza249 20
Your disgusting.. what? Please, by all means finish your sentence. Don't keep us all in suspense!
dixiefoxx 22
Your a dick #7, enough said
nickbucci1252 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't be mad at him beacuse he's right
tweetbaby14 18
The person probably assumed, like most of us, that the OP was being a nasty ass and trying on things without wearing panties.... Making the whole disgusting comment completely reasonable in my eyes.
Sneekert 4
*you're
scruffy_janitor5 1
… the ****?
milliefaith 0
lol
kandiman 5
Well played my friend, could not of said it better myself.
chocolatepr 4
its said " da fuq?! "
BigKatt 1
Still trying to figure out the logistics without picturing some gnarled up axe wound between your legs...
hinchkongfang 0
Show us where the horse bit ya!!
ambowew 7
All I'm thinking of is There's Something About Mary. Seriously, you must have some MASSIVE lips to pull that off.
Enslaved 38
I'm unable to look at Beanie Weenies the same after that movie. Lol