ANON
Sacramento, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
idontlikebitter
Klingnau, Switzerland
Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML
Anonymous
Coming through
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Anonymous
Victoria, Canada
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
box bulge
China
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
brooke
United States
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
Bllllaaaaaah
Juno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wax on, wax off
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
pantyripper
Essendon, Australia
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
grossed out
Mount Prospect, United States
Grooooss!
Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Ouch
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Anon
Auckland, New Zealand
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Top comments
agentaquamarine 4
talk about ear-otic
ghostlilac 25
Andy Samberg? Is that you?
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Comments (180)
cynide 13
DA Fuq did I just read?
HowAreYouToday 34
Well... I believe its something called 'words.' They're arranged in 'sentences.'
babyshanice 12
Yea I don't know how much English they know with the first two words of that sentence.
TheCanucklehead 22
#1 I think we're all thinking the same thing..this is just creepy
Wolvander88 19
Anybody watch The Intouchables? The ears are the last erogenous zones left for a tetraplegic. Makes sense.
PinkieKeen 20
Well cleaning your ears can feel pretty good, but wtf ._.
ViRepz 28
How did this not get moderated away?
Arkana_fml 14
Wtf??? Are you serious ._______.
JoeGrant 12
Nope, he's kidding.
Banyes 7
wowowowo
ywolfgl 21
Can this even happen?
ryan4723 24
Apparently it did happen..
ViRepz 28
The OP is probably leaving out where his other hand was...
ghostlilac 25
Andy Samberg? Is that you?
lochiamochia 25
"Cleaning out my ears with a Q-tip, .... I just jizzed in my pants...."
Trix_Disorder 20
Yep, that sure was the reference.
revan546 24
Well... That escalated quickly!
J1bbl3 3
No... It didn't... In fact there was zero escalation in those above comments.
Syncronisis 11
This is the true form of EARGASM
SomeRandomGuy15 18
75- Well, that didn't escalate at all!
oh_merde 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There's a reason why you're not supposed to stick it down there. ;)
neeni88 23
Is that supposed to deter OP from doing it? Cause if an ****** is the punishment for sticking Q-tips in your ear, then I wouldn't mind being bad!
Dusty_Busters 15
I don't think his ears are "down there"
speakersboom 19
ew!
symfora 17
I know that this can feel good, but this good? Really?
nurchok 15
Yes, ears have lots of nerve ends (probably more than a ******** and a ******** combined) so some people may get ****** out of it, provided the rights ones were stimulated at the right time...
DividableByZero 11
Where do you get your information 107? The creepy ice cream van driver?
Capt_Oblivious 10
Sounds like you cleaned more than your ears out.
skyeyez9 25
He emptied his balls as well.
alicespoons 17
That's the joke.
glamorous18 10
cleaning out my ears, yeah they're gettin' squeaky clean, I'm cleaning out the other & I, **** IN MY PANTS!!!!!!!!
agentaquamarine 4
talk about ear-otic
Dusty_Busters 15
Well done!
zen1979 16
You win the Internet today. Lol
speakersboom 19
I just fell in love with that pun.
Conner Dalbeck 15
I have one question... would you like amm or fmm