Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
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Top comments
Markovski 18
Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI
Devildrake 19
Who has a random gum ball or even a random paint ball on their desk?
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Comments (74)
Devildrake 19
Who has a random gum ball or even a random paint ball on their desk?
mikbrooke 25
people who have collected random things over time.
larrena2377 26
I just don't understand how OP couldn't tell the difference. All the paint balls I've ever touched have been somewhat squishy, not hard like a gumball.
qnmt 9
A new, unused, paintball fresh from the bag/box is as hard as a gum ball.
photographer49 22
#28 But if it was that fresh shouldn't OP have remembered it wasn't a gumball?
invadermaythe1st 35
I always imagined you could get them like bath bombs, in a wrapper to keep them hard.
Handsome_Jack2 10
A fresh paintball could be mistaken for one if you aren't looking very hard. Its hard until exposed to moisture or heat for a prolonged period.
Girlshotdown1 21
my question is why would they put it in their mouth in the first place?
truckers_wife 23
when i was a kid, my family had a collection of pink gumballs in our desk to redeem free movie rentals. it was a promotion they did for years at our local grocery store. after they stopped renting out movies we still had a small collection, and honestly, I think my parents might still have one or two in that desk.
Markovski 18
Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI
MrConcise 35
Can we just make this the golden rule? I feel like the current one is widespread enough that we're safe to switch things up. We could prevent a lot of STD's, choking deaths, and FML's if we did.
venomousflower 24
But then we wouldn't have as many FMLs to laugh over
MrConcise 35
Hmmm...fighting herpes or laughing at morons. Tough choice.
mattrd_fml 31
Why would we want to prevent funny FMLs?
CandyApple88 13
there goes their social life!
mikeyj257 7
Who can't tell the difference besides op or little kid
vreid 20
Why would you put either in your mouth? YDI
larrena2377 26
gumballs are supposed to go in your mouth? right?
HarshD9619 34
No 29, that's called having a normal hygiene sense
dragonvale19 12
But i really am a germaphobe and i'd do it! ....... Ok no i wouldn't it'd kill me
murph_fml 21
Dude, that paint is nasty. But non-toxic.
photographer49 22
#5 I like how you know.
riffehunter 16
when you get shot in the face the paint often goes through the vent holes in the mask and can get in your mouth, not fun.
slyde32 12
I second that, not fun at all. I was tasting paint for two hours, no amount of water or any drink could get rid of that taste
purplebrittney95 16
yummy yummy in your tummy
Dillyduzit 23
Do you frequently have gumballs just lying on your desk?
PokeyPorcupine 18
Always do the sniff/lick test.! Always op.
sunnyskys 25
lmfao, *dies* that made my day
HarshD9619 34
a) Why the hell would you do that? b) Why the hell would you have a paintball on your desk? YDI, totally
xivoricbutterfly 25
Even if it was a gum ball that would still be disgusting assuming that it would be old and dirty. Don't put things in your mouth without inspecting.