Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
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Top comments
Markovski 18
Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI
Devildrake 19
Who has a random gum ball or even a random paint ball on their desk?
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Comments (74)
Roxas_hearts 27
Just brush it off OP
jpapritz 11
I think we're all wondering, what did it taste like?!
tori3700 16
why the hell would you put something you had to clean to find in your mouth? definitely deserved it.
jackzz 9
Paintballs ain't that bad
Mooglefox 24
Why in the hell would you throw something in your mouth that has been rolling around in your desk unwrapped?
random_funnygirl 20
how did the paint ball get there in the first place ?
cressybryant 15
The fact you were willing to eat a lone, stray gumball that could have been there for months says enough ;)
momac86 17
Bah ha ha omg just spit my drink seriously what are you 3 no one should have to tell you not to eat crap especially from a desk who knows who else is using it
purplegold 19
Why the **** would you put it in your mouth? ? gumball or not, it was a stray object that you found.... Just why?
muah97 12
Lick some balls