Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
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Top comments
Markovski 18
Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI
Devildrake 19
Who has a random gum ball or even a random paint ball on their desk?
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Comments (74)
DA3Z 16
I too have mistaken a paintball for candy...
Ironic_Meme 10
Is your desk at the Special Ed center
ItsDutch 16
Get out..
little_one 20
Have you never heard the song! "don't cha put it in you mouth uh uh, till you ask someone you love, that's right kids, if it's okay to eat, if it's okay to eat, like a muffin or a beet, like a muffins or a beet. If you don't know just what it is, remember boys and girls don't put it in your mouth! ICK!"
little_one 20
http://youtu.be/5AuLkMBAFZg
baegirl33 7
Guys, he probably had it sitting on the top of his desk and had gumballs earlier. If it was a gumball I'm guessing he would not have just eaten it without knowing when he had gumballs last. And since he was focused on cleaning he probably reached up quickly grabbed it and ploped it in his mouth. Soon realizing it was a paintball he was disgusted, and probably washed his mouth out.
ndnpride88 25
Lmfao what flavor was the paintball lol
hsbzjsnsos 12
What are you? 3?
CrazyMelvin 14
Are you 3??
middlenamefrank 8
They're non-toxic so no worries. Somehow I doubt they're very tasty, though.
Eloxia 7
They teach us in kindergarten not to put random "candy" you find laying around in your mouth. Still, this made me laugh.
tintin1410 1
I've done this before! I thought it was a malteaser! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I feel for you, paint is never a good taste:')