Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
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Top comments
Markovski 18
Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI
Devildrake 19
Who has a random gum ball or even a random paint ball on their desk?
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Comments (74)
Psychosys 16
LMAO @ you
pooldude 24
do u often eat random stuff that's lying around? YDI
keiNan_fml 35
being curious is okay but not being stupid.
hedgedcats 19
Sorry if I'm wrong but, aren't paint balls harder? Anyways YDI for putting stray things into your mouth.
mikbrooke 25
paintballs i've felt are kinda squishy. gumballs would be harder, considering its more of a solid, whereas paint is liquid.
gte225 11
As that old PSA song said "Don't you put it in your mouth".
abNormal62 23
Give it to Milkey. He hates everything
bdsmslave 18
If that ever happened to me I would totally hide behind a couch and jump out at random family members when they walk past. Paint dripping from my mouth, eyes rolled back in their sockets, tattered clothes... That's how homemade horror movies are started, my friend.
xXxGraveStonexXx 20
Made my day c':
Headcrab 29
No worries. Paintballs are edible.
MattStro 23
I mean YDI for putting it in your mouth without looking, that's quite careless
abbyade 21
Lol greedy. You deserved it.