Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
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Top comments
Markovski 18
Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI
Devildrake 19
Who has a random gum ball or even a random paint ball on their desk?
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Comments (74)
qnmt 9
I feel for you. They taste absolutely foul! Had my share of the paint in my mouth when I used to play PB weekly.
AndyPurdy 31
I wouldn't put anything In my mouth when cleaning my desk even when it's edible because that's disgusting and who knows how long it's been there
seriouslygrowup 11
my 3 year old learned quicker than you have
RecklessLove 18
That's what you get for putting strange balls in your mouth
rockwrench 18
LOL #32. I do think scratch and sniff should have been done before putting strange balls in your mouth.
hoosiergirl94 31
Reminds me of Buddy the Elf finding the gum all over New York :)
fmleli 11
sorry op, I did that with a "chocolate covered raisin" that turned out to be a tick...
LevyLove 17
OMG that made me gag!! But how could you not tell the difference between a "chocolate covered raisin" and a freaking insect?! Anyways, I agree that YDI. I would never want to put a random gum ball or anything that was edible in my mouth after just finding it... Blech!
TheBelt 19
Don't put random shit in your mouth.
hemiol 30
The cat I had when I was 15 used to hunt paintballs from my desk and carry them through the house before he ate them. Other than funny-colored poop, he was fine. Not a smart cat, though.
Fiery_System 0
Don't worry, there still isn't a world record for eating paintballs. I've checked because I always get sprayed through my mask, so I looked up if it was a record, nothing found . so get eating!
Kobi159949 19
Oh.... ??