Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML
Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML
Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
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Top comments
egyptain_me 11
What a great and nutritious way to start the day
amberv61 22
Technically I wouldn't feel anything because you know I would be dead
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Comments (93)
Nederlander95 14
That's a shitty situation
SystemofaBlink41 27
Who thumbed this up?? Who??
illegalbeagle69 23
*slowly raises hand*
worldclassrager 41
I wonder if/one the FML staff will play with this one like the first comments
zinoxity 23
Well, these are the types of comments that get posted when someone is under pressure and wants to be first to comment, haha.
MACARONInCHEESE 10
That's shitty
thevelociraptor 31
Always one person -_-
egyptain_me 11
What a great and nutritious way to start the day
urdirtyolduncle 15
Not worse than the time I opened the lid on my cappuccino to find a floating dead roach.
jackel_love 14
Dead insects/animal turds is for extra flavor lol
fearlesscooldude 12
No, its a shitty way to start the day.
lexi365 20
That protein though.
fearlesscooldude 12
#75 *sigh*
kewlstoribro 6
when did shit a source of protein?
daisylokes 16
i think she was joking lol #89
jawernigk 4
The mouse is out of the vag
gantoman 13
Do you often keep mice in a vag?
urdirtyolduncle 15
^^If so, those mice have seen more action than I have
JandTaco 13
At least you get some extra protein...
Khaleesi_26 30
Shit is waste... It's not going to contain protien and other good nutrients.
noah_1234 24
im surprised someone would actually think shit contains protien.
Daniel589 7
That mouse is a turd
Ltsdragons 19
There's always that one person...
mvc3ftw 17
Okay, we get it...
CharismaGeek 19
First, brush your teeth. Second, buy mouse traps, glue traps, and steel wool. Plant them in every open space you can find in the house, mostly the kitchen and just wait for a snap or a squeak.
jenjen2633 17
Mouse traps are cruel though. How would you feel if you bent into the fridge to get food and the door suddenly snapped shut & broke your neck/back or whatever those snapping mouse traps do.
amberv61 22
Technically I wouldn't feel anything because you know I would be dead
illegalbeagle69 23
Haha ohh 29, that was the best reply.
TheSwegMaster69 11
29, the king/queen of sass
ChaoticFoxen 6
That sass 29 XD
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Buy snap mouse traps, but glue traps are honestly cruel. Better to have a trap that kills instantly rather than keeps the animal alive, hungry and unable to move. I think you can also get humane traps for mice, OP, where you can catch them and take them somewhere to release them, if you'd rather go that route.
Rababco 29
#28 As long as it kills the mouse or rat instantly and painlessly I wouldn't consider it cruel. I've read glue traps are pretty cruel and inhumane though. There are also traps that don't kill mice and rats and are more humane than glue traps so they can be released safely into the wild.
thesmeagol 22
You found the suprise, although I prefer the card or racecar instead.
CharismaGeek 19
You made my week.
KitanasBooty 3
The real question is: Did you finish the bowl?!
CharismaGeek 19
OP literally said they ate half the bowl already. Would they continue to eat cereal with mouse feces or "fecereal"?
MichellinMan 20
^ it's hard to pronounce fecereal
zdane 9
No no no, they are just a new brand of cereal called fecereal, "now with real droppings"