Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I thought I was clever for doing my laundry while multitasking and making dinner. When I went to transfer my clothes from the washer to the dryer, I discovered that I'd accidentally washed a pack of gum that was in my pocket. The gum had melted into my favorite shirt, and I now have a sticky mess to deal with. FML
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Markovski 18
Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI
Devildrake 19
Who has a random gum ball or even a random paint ball on their desk?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
nodai 13
Paintballs have a vegetable oil texture and are soft. How could you make that mistake? Good news is, most are made of vegetable oil. No poison included.
nyagemini23 22
lol sniff before u eat
Ang3lofd3ath167 18
You're an idiot, YDI
zarrganaut 17
What are you, five?
Matheo_fml 21
Paintballs are edible but the taste is not the best. Why the horror?
Daevas 18
A user named 'blue mouth' FMLd this in 2009, albeit slightly different.
Cassandra2015 21
If it were me , if I found something stray on my desk , it be going straight in the garbage and not in my mouth .
janfleury 19
GROSS!!!
nitrog100 21
Don't you put it in your mouth Don't you put it in your mouth Don't stuff it in your face Don't stuff it in your face Though it might look good to eat Though it might look good to eat And it might look good to taste And it might look good to taste... 90s kids should remember this one.
amileah13 26
I guess you could say curiosity killed the cat.