Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
You were probably so distracted from furling his whip and alphabetizing his collection of furry **** that the condom when nearly unnoticed.
dextroz 8
Because both control != STD safety of you're not in a steady relationship.
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Comments (11)
Tripartita 45
You were probably so distracted from furling his whip and alphabetizing his collection of furry **** that the condom when nearly unnoticed.
watermelon15 35
This a classic after a sibling moves out. Happened to me op
Donnasbroeikas 11
Seriously, are birth control pills so expensive in America or something? Why are there so many stories about girl/boyfriends and condemns?
OrchidKitten 21
Yes, actually. All forms of birth control, other than condoms, are expensive. The bar, which lasts 3 years, costs thousands alone.
dextroz 8
Because both control != STD safety of you're not in a steady relationship.
zainman13 26
I see a programmer when I see a !=
kenken5 16
It's good practice to use more than one method of protection during sex. My boyfriend and I use 2 or 3 contraceptive methods every time.
Donnasbroeikas 11
Yeah of course, when you're not in a stable relationship you have tot use condomns! But in my country pills are way cheaper (20 euro per year to be exactly), so that's why I was wondering how much it costs in America.
kelliecraine 2
The basic pill costs about $10-20 a month
trucker2 33
Mail it to your brother, return address is from: XOXO, Love Monica
Soulless_95 20
I bet you called him to cumplain afterwards.