Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, I was struck at home with a stomach virus. My dad, being an occasional insensitive smart-ass, decided to cook some bacon, sit right in front of the couch I was lying on, and eat the bacon. Last time I tried to eat bacon with a stomach virus... Not pretty. FML
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML
Today, I realized my father-in-law is basically Ron Swanson, when at a barbecue he ate some of my daughter's vegan sausages by mistake. When I told him they were vegan, he went to the bathroom, forced himself to throw them up, then sat and demolished 4 burgers, 8 sausages, and 6 chicken thighs, "LIKE A REAL MAN!" FML
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML
Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML
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Top comments
DemonChicken 0
or maybe the,"good joke honey" was sarcasm for,"I know you've given a million handjobs,just touch it" think about it!!
tencentsakiss 19
or your dad knows you are a vegetarian but assumed that you could still at least touch meat. refusing to touch it seems extreme.
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Comments (571)
caroliiineXD_fml 0
there's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian. so shut your mouths. i'm a vegetarian because i physically CAN'T eat meat. you don't know the reasoning, quit judging. gosh.
meavey 0
Ok seriously wtf. She is not promoting vegetarianism, she was just telling a story. Who the **** do all of you think you are coming on here and criticising her and her way of life. Seriously who the **** do you think you are? What sort of people go around putting down others just because they don't agree with them. You wouldn't openly criticise someone for their religion or other beliefs (or at least i should hope you wouldn't). You don't even know why she's a vegetarian, it may be for health reasons. So all you narrow minded fukers just **** off, little ***** hiding behind your computers.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Unfortunately, many of these commentors would do that, and have :/ A lot of these involved arguments are directed toward other commentors though, not so much the OP. Of course, there are always the ones who'll say "ydi for not eating meat, ya dummy," but they're easily ignored and to be expected by now. At least we know the OP isn't evangelizing everyone with her dietary choices; obviously if her family doesn't even know she's vegetarian, she's not too obnoxious about it.
caroliiineXD_fml 0
there's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian. so shut your mouths. i'm a vegetarian because i physically CAN'T eat meat. you don't know the reasoning, quit judging. gosh.
caroliiineXD_fml 0
there's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian. so shut your mouths. i'm a vegetarian because i physically CAN'T eat meat. you don't know the reasoning, quit judging. gosh.
caroliiineXD_fml 0
there's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian. so shut your mouths. i'm a vegetarian because i physically CAN'T eat meat. you don't know the reasoning, quit judging. gosh.
caroliiineXD_fml 0
there's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian. so shut your mouths. i'm a vegetarian because i physically CAN'T eat meat. you don't know the reasoning behind their decision, quit judging. gosh.
caroliiineXD_fml 0
there's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian. so shut your mouths. i'm a vegetarian because i physically CAN'T eat meat. you don't know the reasoning behind their decision, quit judging. gosh.
caroliiineXD_fml 0
there's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian. so shut your mouths. i'm a vegetarian because i physically CAN'T eat meat. you don't know the reasoning behind their decision, quit judging. gosh.
buttshapedfruit 0
stfu nd stop bitching. ur not even freakin eatin da stupid meat so y does it matter? grow some balls
aardvarkish 17
Those would be meat. ... Just sayin...
RedPillSucks 33
veggie balls?
me1993 0
Random but true fact: MLK Jr.'s son is vegan. Honestly people need to respect other people's beliefs and not make fun of them because like someone else said I don't go around making fun of people who are religious or who eat meat or whatever. It is ironic that people who are vegetarian and believe in nonviolence have a bunch of haters. BTW nothing is natural anymore so saying that eating meat is natural doesn't really make sense. Eating beef from a cow that was shot up with like 20 different hormones and confined in a factory is not exactly natural. And we don't need meat or animal products to survive. There are tons of vegetarians and vegans who live long and healthy lives, and usually longer than meat eaters because they don't get heart attacks and shiz from clogged up arteries from animal fat. Who knows maybe one day no one will eat animals or use/abuse them for our minute pleasure and it will be seen as taboo just like slavery is seen as now. Ohhh I went there. Extreme. Ok im done. Now you can all call me a crazy peta betch. Even though I'm not. Haha.
Loserly 0
It's sad to be judged based on something so arbitrary. I don't tell many people that I'm vegetarian simply because there are too many people out there who don't understand that just because someone has made their own personal lifestyle choice that doesn't even affect others, there's no need to immediately jump on the defensive. I usually perceive overly agressive meat eaters as people who might inherently feel bad and feel they need to prove something to themselves.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
356: I empathize with the whole "living your life on the DL to avoid being judged" thing. I'm not a vegetarian, but I have made other lifestyle choices that others may use to draw false conclusions about me. The truth is, though, that those people will always find a reason to judge and pigeonhole you; it stems from their personal insecurities and ignorance. It's not always worth it to hide those things about yourself.