Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML
Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML
Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML
Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
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Top comments
Drew167 8
Well your father seems rather accepting.
mpsteve137 15
Say EAT THIS!!! And punch him in the face
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Comments (136)
mpsteve137 15
Say EAT THIS!!! And punch him in the face
Ge0rger0kz 5
Today, I punched my dad in the face, I am now homeless. FML
Syneriam 7
I don't think punching him would of made it any better. Maybe they though you were joking? Try telling them again, preferably when they're away from the freezer.
RandomComments 6
What a waste of a first comment...
RaggleFrock 13
Punching dad is never the answer.
gabstahhh 8
"Oops I slipped"
Bonzer 2
What a waste of a 44th comment.
Star928 7
This comment = WIN
iGrassYourSister 6
how ******* retarded are you #1? Since when punching your father has resolved any issues while you're still living in your parents house? All you will achieve will be a homeless status and a broken face if not much more. You potato heads should start thinking before writing down these emotion filled buttrage comments.
mpsteve137 15
It's a ******* joke. Kill yourself.
Drew167 8
Well your father seems rather accepting.
clumsychik 1
Your shirt fell off.
hockeyoceancity 13
Yeah he is, i wonder how he would reply if OP said he/she was homosexual? Rub a private part to his/her face? That would be.. different.
Drew167 8
Nope I took it off there's a difference.
elephantom12 9
Why'd you take it off drew? You aren't impressing anyone. I will personally buy each and every person on here who take shirtless pictures of themselves for their picture a shirt to wear.
fmlallthetyme 23
Except for the women, 70
mightymart 5
Wow 55 you really are a genius... Keep showing off your pecs
charvisioku 22
Wow, you guys are still getting all prudish about a topless photo? Good lord I hope you never see anyone walking down the street topless... poor bastard would probably get egged or something.
zandalee 20
I know right. Since when is eye candy a bad thing?
downtime 13
70, Is it a good shirt? If so I may consider putting up a shirtless photo for the freebie...
faithxoxox 1
2/55's head also seemed to fall off.
I_Punch_Babies 7
Sounds like an old simpsons episode
I_Punch_Babies 7
Yea my favorite part of that episode was where Homer flips a steak too hard and it goes into Lisas bedroom window. Lisa talks about how they could at least not throw it in her face that everyone else eats meat. Cue the steak landing in her face. Lol
ArcadePie 10
It was a lamb
KiddNYC1O 22
Baahh.
cmac86 24
(to the conga) You can't make friends with salad! You can't make friends with salad!
mpj13 8
Nasty
mpsteve137 15
C: hi
zandalee 20
Naughty Dads strike again! Seems to be a lot of Dads behaving badly lately... Bless their cotton sox...
jdyo3 5
I'd rather take that then being made fun of
ositoakaluis 16
nah I'm sure he just loves take meat to face... if you know what I mean ;)
ALpein 0
51: 1, raw meat. Raw, bloody, uncooked meat. How is a hotdog/sausage worse? 2, ... expectcttacltlly? What did you write?
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
55 meant "especially", you idiot.
MrFuzzles 5
Personally, I would say thank you. In your case barrage him with cooked broccoli.
TrueTriage 16
Asparagus makes a good spear type of projectile.
danishbagel 3
Raw carrots would do better than asparagus.
MrFuzzles 5
Let's all settle on pineapples.
zandalee 20
No wait Bananas are the ultimate weapon!! Ask that chicks Grandma!!
TzHaar_Joh_Zuhai 4
How about watermelon?
TrippingOnAcid 29
Euw that was gross and mean My sympathy OP
noisebox 1
Tell him: " you've made me very worried as I have just realized I am genetically related to a retard".
TheDrifter 24
Paradoxically, it would appear that her father thought exactly the same thing before putting on a puppet show for his evolution impaired offspring.
smilepatrol 7
You should get a live cow and say 'Eat me Eat me!' and then throw him at the cow
Snazzy_Snaz 17
That didn't make any sense
mariah_victoria 0
wut.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
It would be better if it was a bull. As in, better it be a bull than a cow.
KaelaKhaotic 5
Your father should accept your choice instead of mocking it.