Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, I was struck at home with a stomach virus. My dad, being an occasional insensitive smart-ass, decided to cook some bacon, sit right in front of the couch I was lying on, and eat the bacon. Last time I tried to eat bacon with a stomach virus... Not pretty. FML
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML
Today, I realized my father-in-law is basically Ron Swanson, when at a barbecue he ate some of my daughter's vegan sausages by mistake. When I told him they were vegan, he went to the bathroom, forced himself to throw them up, then sat and demolished 4 burgers, 8 sausages, and 6 chicken thighs, "LIKE A REAL MAN!" FML
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML
Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML
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Top comments
DemonChicken 0
or maybe the,"good joke honey" was sarcasm for,"I know you've given a million handjobs,just touch it" think about it!!
tencentsakiss 19
or your dad knows you are a vegetarian but assumed that you could still at least touch meat. refusing to touch it seems extreme.
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Comments (571)
ruiz0428 0
You guys are ******* stupid, just shut up and leave this kid alone, if she doesn't want to eat meat, leave it that way, it's not your health she's affecting! Why are people such mean ASS HOLES!!!!! SHUT THE **** UP LEAVE IT ALONE YOU BUNCH OF IGNORANT *****!!!!!!!
wishiwazritch 3
OH MY GOSH! Your life is SO HORRIBLE! What an insensitive prick for not noticing that you don't eat meat! Get over it you ******* cry baby unless he's beating you or neglecting you I don't think you have an excuse to think that your whole life is ****** up.
OverBlossomed 22
She didn't say her whole life was ****** up, you retarded piece of asswipe.
the_undead 11
you people are ******* retarted it's a much healthier life style to be vegetarian if you eat the right things. look it up dumb asses
Anaxes 5
You are illiterate. The reason humans eat meat is because it has far more nutrition-effort ratio. Vegetarians can be healthier than people if they do the right things. Meat eaters are healthier people if they eat the right things. Don't be a zealot "dumb ass"
the_undead 11
plus I feel horrible when I eat meat I think it's wrong to eat living creatures.. it's like eating your favorite pet, would you do that?
nicholiepolie1 0
I'd really to see you back up that statement of how being vegetarian is unhealthy. Most meat-eaters get too much protein in their diet, actually. Also, the animals that eat meat don't mass produce it. They kill what they need to survive. If you've noticed, humans are the only meat-eaters that don't have sharp teeth, claws, etc, for killing and digesting meat, unlike other predators.
whatishaunt 0
So, the people who have no problem propagating and supporting the years of torture and pain of sentient beings also have no qualms about ostracizing those who try to minimize or at least not partake in said torture. Surprise, surprise. Lack of compassion, tolerance, and love runs rampant regardless of species. If vegetarians won't ever stop the killing of animals for food, I don't see why their choices are such a threat to you.
Opinionist 0
A quick note for vegetarians: plants are living organisms too! In fact, they produce oxygen.
Gazarok 0
ydi for being vegiterian
JenniLaSuper 4
F*ck all you guys who hate on vegetarians. I've been one for over 3 years and it's the best choice I ever made. kthank.
tb15 0
Right now, I'm not a vegetarian, but I only eat about one fifth of the amount of meat as most people. However I'm going to try to debunk some of the arguments against vegetarianism Plants are life too-true, but plants do not have emotions or feel pain and they have no consciousness Meat is so tasty-in my opinion, the taste is overrated Animals have a nice life-usually false, they are primarily raised in overcrowded, indoor facilities, often dying from lack of veterinary care Eating meat happens all the time in nature-so does inbreeding, rape, infanticide, and cannibalism vegetarians are idiots-Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein, Plato, Leonardo Davinci, and Mahatma Ghandi were all vegetarians
AFuckinCrocodile 6
Yeah they were,you can be smart,and dumb at the same time,in different areas.They were idiots because they refused to eat meat which is delicious,and for what? So someone else could eat it? If one person refuses to eat meat,that won't be less animals that have to die, it will be one person,having more of it. But they were genius,and smart for their thinking of what ever they are famous for.