Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
No bacon????? This was so intense it almost made me cry... I mean, who cares about money when you can have bacon :(
nika10105 14
Go get a job
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Comments (124)
nika10105 14
Go get a job
BigBacker 0
Hah, time to befriend your neighbors!
blackheart24 10
I could live on bacon. Best food ever.
MrKlutch 1
Go back and finish highschool then
iam_yummylicious 12
Not even close to the best food ever. Much tastier foods and meats. A good piece of beef, venison, or lamb > pork. IMO fish, rabbit, chicken, duck, etc are better than pork. And you haven't lived until you've eaten exotic meats.
scoop15928 4
I have a job but I'm only paid in Trident Layers. No bacon or even money.
Keyman1212 14
Occupy the Supermarket! Request lower prices for bacon, and make 1% of shoppers give you some of their food!
xoconnie 8
hm that sucks bro. i agree with the people who said get a job... cuz then u can have some bacon!!! good luck.
DJJuantioFresh 0
Nobody pays me in gum. :(
ShyAnn29 15
31 I had duck in Paris, OMG, it was so good!!!
RadikulRam 16
@31 fish, rabbit, chicken, duck and a meat product called "etc" are exotic? Seriously? @op I really don't understand how people become so poor that they can not even afford bacon, I understand if you had maybe 20quid to your life but any less I really don't understand how people get into these positions.
RadikulRam 16
Wait hold on #65 and #31 both claim that ducks are exotic and they're both from the US. Don't they cook ducks in America?....
Jovecove 13
Bacon, eggs, hashbrown and toast for breakfast, **** I'm hungry by the thought of it
iam_yummylicious 12
I didn't say they were exotic. I said "And you haven't live until you've tried exotic meats". Meaning in addition to the aforementioned meats. By exotic meats I meant silkie, squib, puffin, bear, snake, alligator, lion, springbok, guinea pig, kangaroo, llama, alpaca, yak, wagyu/Kobe, elk, bison, etc.
ShyAnn29 15
I never said it was exotic, I just said I had it when I went to Paris. And yes, I think they cook duck in the US, I've just never had it in the US My brother has eaten guinea pig when he was in Peru.
ShyAnn29 15
(continued) Sorry I sent it before I was done. My parents and I also went to Peru to pick up my brother from his mission, anyways, I had alpaca and it was good, when my bro. had guinea pig, he said the 2nd time was harder because they kept the head and feet on it, lol!
MrLookAtThere 10
Bacon is a right you gain the moment you're born, go to your neighbours house and claim this right!!
sarahkins89 4
I work full time and I finished highschool and I'm broke right now what does that mean for me ???? just because some one is broke doesn't mean they didn't finish highschool
luckyducky_7sq 10
@31, other strange meat connoisseurs: I'm glad you've made it your mission to try to halve the Earth's species. FYI, it all comes out the same way ;)
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
Dunkin donut, grab a big and toasty with a 99 cents hashbrown, it will make you day a lot better
MrHomerSimpson 11
Mmmmm... bacon.
iam_yummylicious 12
@92 - I didn't make it my mission do such a thing. We're on the top of the food chain. I'm in a position to enjoy their meats, skins, and furs as I like. Besides, they are/can be reproduced commercially... So what's the problem? What does it all coming out the same way have do anything with anything? Last time I checked your ass doesn't have taste buds. I like to try new foods that are fun and exciting. And I like to eat them slowly and savor their foreign taste :D!
Anonymous2194 4
You're a **** for assuming OP doesn't have a job.
TrimKibbles 12
Get a job.
Glitterhinoceros 14
No bacon????? This was so intense it almost made me cry... I mean, who cares about money when you can have bacon :(
DrDilllonReese 12
Muslims...
Fruit_Dealer 9
Because of the recent economic crisis, I heard more and more Europeans are getting paid in bacon.
SuperKnuckels 6
least their getting paid unlike some.. countries...
Rob777 0
Marry me?
me_gusta_eso 1
**** it, go PIG out (; ... no? Okay.
baconftw 9
No bacon equals depression. I ******* love bacon, as you can see from my name.
TheFlyingMan 8
Well, if I didn't have Bacon, I would become depressed, if I didn't have sex, I would go insane. No Bacon AND no Sex would just kill me.
baconstrips 12
Oh shit I just came
JoelJ 0
No one ever pays me in bacon. :(
andrewfromsocal 13
I just want to hear your accent. Kthanx
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Ask your neighbor if you can have some of their food. They will be nice enough to give you some. :)
jackassiddy 8
Bacon is not for sharing.. know this.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
If you have a house or some land, grow your own fruits, veggies, and herbs. You can even grow some inside, if you don't have outside space. It cuts the costs drastically, but it does require time. That will solve your money and hunger woes. Then, if you have some left over, you can either trade some with your neighbor for bacon, or bring them to a local market, sell them, and buy some bacon yourself.
ambamm135 7
19 but it sounds like op needs the food now and can't really wait to grow their own garden. It's nice to have that yes I know I have my own but it doesnt sound like they can really wait that long.
seriouslythat 6
No bacon? Why about left overs from turkey day?
soccerguy2 11
38- not true.
soccerguy2 11
Didnt mean to send it yet. But anyways, I have an,asian friend whose parents came from china and they had thanksgiving! He thought he wasnt gonna but he did! And I dont think this is racist.
ArmadasRebellion 1
I don't know anyone who has bacon on thanksgiving
cheefer 0
Celebrating thanksgiving is already a tad racist. You invite some people over, eat food, and then you kill them and take their land. Sweetness!
False_Stupidity 42
46/47, 38 is still correct because we don't have thanksgiving here in Aus and I'm sure there are other countries that don't .. It's all beside the point anyhow as turkey is NOT bacon, turkey < bacon and there can be no comparison.
taytoc 10
steal some bacon! Its necessary for life
emilymac420 0
If you have no money, why did roughing the bacon snell cane from your house? Am I missing something..?
LadiiFresH 0
yes, your missing a lot of sense!!! because your comment made no sense it actually gave me a headache
alexiiiis09 0
Yeah, a brain.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I thumbed this up because it made me laugh...especially the way it sounds when I read it out loud.
datboiryan 6
Lol. Typo?
ElectricEffect 13
Who doesn't love to rough up a good bacon snell every now and then?
rillastyle 1
Missing Auto correct?
mnmolino 14
If you have no money or food then how do you have neighbors?
KiddNYC1O 22
Legit cardboard box?
boredblonde 17
Fight a hobo for his dollar?
raydaly 5
lolol
mnmolino 14
Clearly you practice the American principle of "don't get a job, then complain about not having food"
ShroomsOnAcid 17
We don't know anything about OP's situation. It could be through none of their fault. Also, the FML never said anything about OP not having a job.
cntryiscntrywide 0
lmao me and my boyfriend work 14 hour days and were still starving, go **** yourself.
ElectricEffect 13
So that's an American principle aye? So everyone I know, even in this tough economy, who all have jobs, are clearly either abnormal, or immigrants. You ma'am, are an idiot.
clcbjj31 0
32- You don't have food, but you have enough "disposable income" to have a computer/smartphone? I'd say someone needs to get their priorities straight.
TalkinSmack 6
Sounds like u and ur boyfriend need to budget ur money better
Palirose 22
51- it's very possible she could be on the public library computers. Just saying. Or in an Internet cafe. Or even using someone else's. I don't the the phone part is relevant since people in 3rd world countries have cell phones as well.
SkardeyKat 3
I don't have much money either but I'm able to have a computer, phone, tv, all that stuff. I think she just meant they live paycheck to paycheck, which I totally understand. In this economy unless you get a 30-35k + a year job you will probably be working paycheck to paycheck, it's almost impossible to save any money.
Anonymous2194 4
Clearly you're a stupid bitch.