Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
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Top comments
whatarethisss 23
Next time, don't forget to pee around your fridge to mark your territory.
kenyrabit 25
Never heard of the Dutch-fridge before! :D
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Comments (58)
ThuNDeY 23
Rip in peace
GeorgeCarter95 16
Rest in peace in peace?
icekingz 7
It's a meme
SumDonkus 6
"it's a meme you dip"
ADOG2645 17
Rip in pepperonies
whatarethisss 23
Next time, don't forget to pee around your fridge to mark your territory.
firefighter925 18
That's a good idea, I'm gonna go pee on my girlfriend
whatarethisss 23
Kinky! Lmao.
isuckwithnames 22
R. Kelly?
HoboMeth 36
kick him out
TheClassicMan848 11
You're dad is either really funny, or an absolute asshole
MidnaLink 35
I'm going to go with asshole, just because that's NASTY!
isuckwithnames 22
Why? We can assume that he's wearing pants and underwear, since the wording of the post implies OP lives away from their parents and that is the social norm for developed countries. The fart would have to penetrate the underwear and pants so nothing is getting in there.
kenyrabit 25
Never heard of the Dutch-fridge before! :D
WCARlover 35
Well if you were planning on having beans for dinner he's just taking out the middleman
Scarylizard1798 23
Dad jokes gone too far
JpTheGreat23 19
Delicious
FelicityWishes 32
Free dinner :D
weatherxveins 29
How considerate of him to provide for his family.