Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
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Top comments
bekahshae 0
After you got off, you should have said, "Now that'll be twenty dollars."
lucaso86 0
YAY for creepy boners
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Comments (186)
Geist_fml 0
theres this thing where you can call this number and a car will arrange to pick you up and drive you to your destination for a fee. i can't wait for this invention!
yellowsneakers 0
Why do you assume that the OP had the money to spare for a cab? I live in NY, and I certainly can't afford to take a cab or car service. Ever. Neither can most people I know. For the great majority of New Yorkers (and I'm talking all the boroughs, not just Manhattan), the train and buses are the most practical forms of transportation.
mastory96 0
haha! wow... well don't tease! give him what he wants! ;)
whereisntjenn 0
ahaha. you liked it
kuyakhris 0
u must be a hot chick ;) lol but on a serious note, that sux man...
neptuneflytrap 0
That happened to me once, and I was beyond pissed. The guy was pressed against my ass even though there was room behind him. I asked him to back up, but he just gestured toward his backpack and stared off into space. At the next stop when a few people got off, I immediately moved away from him so that he was next to my arm instead, but he didn't even attempt to shift. GROSS is right! :( FYL for having to put up with that for 20 minutes!
killerog 0
This is an FML... Hey just be lucky... http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=18534 isn't you
Bloodknight 22
Honestly, if you wanted bad enough to get away, you could have. I think you secretly liked it!
michaelcarell 0
sounds hot
PsYkIc 0
Wow that must really sucked...did anyone see?
moopsy234 0
man u shuda had a seizure and spitted up that wuda stopped him... trust me I'm a doctor! :) lol but fyl ydi for riding the sub way but realy tho, that's like... third degree rape if there is such a thing... u should go home and cry in the shower now! but I bet he was thinking "long and hard" bout his "sub ride" and was glad u rode his sub ;)
alijacket 0
LOL @ everyone on here pretending they'd be able to hold it in/are disgusted by it. It's easy to get an erection when your crotch is rubbing up against.. anything. And you don't have to be a man to know that. But, OP, it does suck.. if he stood there deliberately. Maybe he has some creepster facing his back and didn't want to stand w/ an erection towards him.