Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bekahshae 0
After you got off, you should have said, "Now that'll be twenty dollars."
lucaso86 0
YAY for creepy boners
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (186)
ClumsyJason 3
I was there this summer in New York for vacation. Subway was my main transportationn but thing it, I had to agree that it was full of people in the Q and N train.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
You couldn't have turned sideways to expose the side of your leg instead? ^^; (Less unpleasant.) And/or given him a death glare of enough intensity to make the offending parts wither away? .....if all else fails, a nice cloud of pepper spray in a crowded subway succeeds at both getting rid of the issue and also produces hilarious results, but that might be my Tyler Durden side speaking. XD (I don't guarantee you won't be lynched, but it will be an exciting subway trip. XD)
OperationNicole_fml 0
Dude whatever Lol. If you really couldn't move away, tell everyone to move and that your stop is coming up and get out and wait for the next one (hell, I'd wait an hour not to have that on me for 20 minutes).
Sophia93 0
#52, its $2.25. Just wanted to clear that up :)
Vaetrus 0
I think the comments totally enhanced this FML. But #50 has my vote. Cab, bike, walk, drive, those might not have been options. Taking another train, or getting off and catching another, might not have been possible either. If the train is packed, it might have just skipped some stations, especially during rush hour when most people get off at specific stops. When she says he can move, she probably means he could have turned and faced the door/wall because he was up against it. You might have liked it, he probably did. You could have said something out loud. Helped him along, made it worse, plenty of suggestions here.
g_rizzle_86330 0
you essentially gave the guy a lap dance before he got hard, and it's his fault? YDI idiot.
menschmaschine5 0
This depends. If there's no traffic, a cab ride is quicker. Though it's always more expensive. I'd put the estimate more at $15.00 though.
fr00bird 4
eww, he could've been an old guy :(
ActionManly 11
Sheesh, a lot of people want sandwiches. Next time to go McDonald's.
fmh123 0
O this sounds like a good porno movie