Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
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Top comments
bekahshae 0
After you got off, you should have said, "Now that'll be twenty dollars."
lucaso86 0
YAY for creepy boners
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Comments (186)
LaFlavex 0
ohh shit! that's awful. i can't imagine how embarrassed he was though.
wintermadness1 0
He definitely should have turned, but you can't blame a man for getting excited.
visage 0
Shut up... you know you liked it! Hell, you're probably rubbing one out to it as I type this!!!
myballs 0
The guy should have turned, but I think it's at least possible he wasn't a perv. Some guys can't even have physical contact with / talk to girls without getting an erection. They're called virgins, and I am one.
FerrariCake 2
You get an erection just from talking to a girl? What will you do about job interviews??
startrekker 3
So disgusting and I am not surprised this happened to you. One time as I was walking up the stairs from the subway some man kept trying to cup my ass. I turned around and I yelled right in his face "what the **** is your problem". The look of surprise and embarassment on his face was so worth it.
Jefe_fml 0
I woulda gotten a boner.
TechnoMonkey 0
While reading this I could only think of one thing, Butters singing "What in my butt".
troll_destroy_er 0
Hahaha only thing that could make this funnier is if OP's a man... and straight!
FerrariCake 2
OP... I agree with some of the other posts here: it sounds like you secretly enjoyed the feeling of his hardness against your ass. Don't be embarassed... it's perfectly natural. Most girls do enjoy this. You could have got off the train at the next stop and got on the next one. But you didn't. Instead you probably closed your eyes and dreamed you were with someone else. It was a win-win for both of you.
iloooovemylife 7
i hate wen the train gets crowded, i usually take the D train to go to college and its usually filled wid chinese all crowded n shit the worst part wen they open up their food to eat no offense but it makes me puke !! btw my life roks !!
gummibehrs 4
Omg r u srs? U sit on d train n wen Chinese ppl open their fud u gag? How do u ever stand it? Moron.