Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
The down side of getting a seat in a crowded train. Next time, bring a chain saw. You'd be surprised how much personal space people will give you, crowded train or not.
drizzt6895 0
Did you say "thank you sir may i have another"?
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Comments (47)
HarlemzAngelita 0
haha OWNED!!
m0tl3ycru3qwr 0
how did that taste?
toelie 26
You could've asked them to turn away from your face the first time.
phatdaddy62 23
Then you'd have their dick in your face!
toelie 26
It solves the fart issue. Or be specific and ask them to turn 90 degrees. Besides, I would personally prefer someone's dick over their ass, if I had to choose. It's covered anyway and dicks don't fart.
jellyybeans 5
lmfao, can you imagine if dicks DID fart? xD
luchie_fml 0
lmmfao!
RedPillSucks 33
The down side of getting a seat in a crowded train. Next time, bring a chain saw. You'd be surprised how much personal space people will give you, crowded train or not.
drizzt6895 0
Did you say "thank you sir may i have another"?
rowannn 0
NOMNOMNOMNOM
iggypop456 0
wtf
MrBoredGuy 1
waiting for the "in my country you'd get beat with a stick" guy
ktdad07 0
Nah, in his country that is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
sweet_candy_ 17
Turn your head the other way :)
eftup 9
how do you even think of weird things to type in response to all these? you must have had a twisted childhood!
mintcar 10
It had to be a guy because....
7mood75 7
girls don't fart?
xavier1623 4
Its obvious from this that a failure is commenting. 'Its obvious to us that its a guy'? Stereotype much? How bout i tell you 80% of females ********** just cause i thought it was true.
sourgirl101 29
Ooh, ooh that smell Can't you smell that smell? Ooh, ooh that smell The smell of death surrounds you.
aquariusangel420 0
PRICELESS
KrissyGal 1
Awe Muffin! Poor u!! Next time stand!!