Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
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Top comments
ragnarok1540 39
This is the exact kind of situation that warrants a more secure locking mechanism on bathroom stall doors instead of flimsy latches! I would favor one of those old fashioned wooden drop bar type barricades. That way, if the idiot gives up kicking the door and tries to crawl under, you can use the wooden beam as a makeshift club ...
dawnimus 21
OPs username here is super apt. Hope you got cleaned up ok, that's grim!
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Comments (26)
dawnimus 21
OPs username here is super apt. Hope you got cleaned up ok, that's grim!
nexus94 14
I voted YDI by accident. I can't imagine why anyone would think YDI.
laden_swallow09 35
I did, too. You used to be able to take back your votes when that happened. On mobile, anyway.
ragnarok1540 39
This is the exact kind of situation that warrants a more secure locking mechanism on bathroom stall doors instead of flimsy latches! I would favor one of those old fashioned wooden drop bar type barricades. That way, if the idiot gives up kicking the door and tries to crawl under, you can use the wooden beam as a makeshift club ...
arano 29
How did he puke on you through the locked door...?
Dilexar 26
He kicked the door open.
ragnarok1540 39
Re-read the FML. The door was kicked in by the assailant, who then vomited on the OP. Those flimsy door latches couldn't keep the wind out.
SilioMarwolaeth 23
I guess you missed the "kicked in the stall door" part...
arano 29
My fault. I thought it said the guy was *trying* to kick the door in. This is what happens when you get on FML while you're drunk lol.
manpaws123 6
was his name Ralph?
StarkWolf_fml 23
ever seen scary movie 3?
Le_ponderer 14
Luckily, he didn't try to chew your face OP. Looking for a sliver lining...
jeliza210 5
Did he yell "Oh Yeahhh!" like the kool-aid man?
ShleeG 23
he mighta been too busy puking on OP
leJar 14
Guys, it's clearly not a shitty situation so I'm gonna stop your thought right here.
ShleeG 23
OP already took care of that
ShleeG 23
that sounds disgusting... I don't know what I'd do if it were me. I'm sorry OP... hope you were able to wash up quickly and didn't have to sit in puke for too long