Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead." FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
shewenttojareds 16
He let out the Holy Ghost. You're blessed LOL.
Miss_Chevious 37
How do you know it wasn't your wife?
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Comments (65)
UhHuhHoney 20
I love how he looked at you with disgust lol
The_Avatar 22
He's clearly not above passing the blame hahaha it just sucks it had to be you
Lalala579121 28
First he passes gas, then he passes the blame, what will he pass next?
Crazynocatlady 22
Hopefully the dutchie
MidnaLink 35
So, even your bride couldn't tell that the noise was coming from her left?
Miss_Chevious 37
How do you know it wasn't your wife?
False_Stupidity 42
Pretty sure that most people can tell what direction a sound is coming from, although his bride seemed to have trouble in this department if OP is telling the truth.
Calingaladha 21
"In the name of the father, the son, and the holy gas..."
ThrottleJockey 36
He who farts in church sits in his own pew.
daGun 18
Time to bless the marriage with biss and remeber, thou who has smelt it has dealt it.
MsMedea 26
For better or worse!
janfleury 19
To rat a priest out over a fart is not a good idea. You will have an eternity to regret that decision.
UhHuhHoney 20
I really hope you're trolling
beeferjay 34
it was the spirit casting out those foul sour demons, lol.