tmac05
United States
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
thecarisfine
Brisbane, Australia
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Whyme
United States
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Arlington, United States
Denial
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
fart
Houghton Lake, United States
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
Anonymous
Plymouth, United States
Fidgeting
Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML
let ‘Er rip
The Sweet Smell of Success
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Anonymous
United States
Great date, thanks!
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
oops
United States
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
Anonymous
Hayward, United States
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Anonymous
Time to flee the crime scene
Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML
Top comments
sallen0046 4
So what? People fart. If your date was that bothered by a natural body function, you need to find someone more grown up to go out with.
DrDoofenshmirtz 0
Waiter: ... *farts* Boyfriend: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, (Girlfriend's name) Girlfriend: IT WASN'T ME IT WAS THE DAMN WAITER! Boyfriend: DON'T BLAME THE WAITER! That's it, this date is over. *leaves* Waiter: ... sucker.
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Comments (50)
honeybee366 0
maybe it was her, and she was trying to play it off?
funzcpl 0
your #1 your #1 your #1 wooooooohoooooo! you did it. gotta be quick to be the 1st one posted!
flipflipflipidel 0
mabey he's into that?
MissLizWolf 8
i love your profile pic, it's always sunny in philadelphia(: hahaha,
tencentsakiss 19
That is pretty much the best show ever.
LiishaNiinahx 0
Make a complain..
WillDaBeast83 0
it's spelled maybe.
tencentsakiss 19
Oooooo I get it, maybe is all flipped around because your username says flip.
flipflipflipidel 0
ya exactly
tencentsakiss 19
lol
MrSassypants 34
It would be funny if it was a person at another table that farted, and the waiter thought it was OP's date. Then everyone would think it's wach other. Like rock, paper, scissors.
croso88 5
ha ha the op got crop dusted by the waiter lol when I worked the food industry we would "crop dust" tables of ppl we didn't like ha ha
Hopersz 0
Lmfao that sucks.
ilovejeland 0
agree :)
Prolusive 5
I'd say it blows (out of his bum)
qsdmlkj 0
OP, why didn't you just say that it wasn't you? You've been in a human conversation before, haven't you?
tencentsakiss 19
Yes because no one has ever lied tried pinning the fart blame on another person or the dog. lol
tencentsakiss 19
ummm *Yes, because *lied and tried
gusgus36 5
she ought to give you benefit of the doubt and believe you. and even if she's convinced it was you, unless she's really shallow it wouldn't be enough reason to not go out on a second date
funzcpl 0
lmao! that's unfortunate. but funny as hell.
mouxouxou 11
He was standing next to u when he farted?? :| The waiter actually farted you??? OMG that is FML.However if your date thinks it was you,u can tell her/him the truth and if she/he doesn't believe you,whatever what else can u do?The tragedy is the fart.
miraggg 1
lmao what??
ImOutsideYourWin 0
Is it strange that I fully understood that?
skyttlz 32
the waiter farted on op
imnotonaboat 0
All I got was "The tragedy is the fart." lmfao.
kittydidit 0
Hahaha - it sucks that the waiter farted but it's not that big a deal that he thought it was you. Just roll with it, be silly and make jokes (while telling him the truth about the fart's origin). That'll show you're cool and not super sensitive! :)
bethan1 4
So you just say "bet you can't beat that one!" And start a farting contest until everyone else gets digusted and leaves and you get the restaraunt to yourselves then you can make love in the freezer. This usaully works for me.
KingDingALing 9
What? That's...disturbing...
syedlink27 0
I wanna fart in your eye.. maybe that'll open em so you don't look all depressed
nidawi 0
22. I'm going to sound like a stalker, but P.S means post script. :) I know, I read your profile info...sorry about that, I just wanted to see a bigger picture of your user picture...it's sexy ahaha. ;) Btw fml for 44 unpublished fmls.