Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
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Top comments
EggsinaBasket 9
Must have really blown to wake up to that.
GoldFishPony 21
I hope your mom is willing to fund the therapy you'll need now
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Comments (93)
may14th 26
turbulence?
StickyMonster 6
Causes a choking hazard.
Lct1196 31
And a chance of castration
minesbiggerr 25
^ too far dude too far
emeraldmyst 7
that's what she said
TheGolfGTI 24
I would get sick if I saw something like that. I guess you could say it would be a terminal illness.
WellHelloThere47 19
You do realize that's an illness that ends in death right? and that's not funny.
fabulouskenaz 6
some people can't take a joke
Eleora 19
What has been seen, cannot be unseen... :/
it__happens 17
Haha I wonder how embarrassed they'd be if they found out you saw
BagelBread 6
Nope! *jumps out plane*
weveallbeenthere 30
bleach in the eyes won't work. go to therapy.
rogerover 19
Your Mom is the BEST
makersmarkmike 17
My mind is still struggling to swallow the rudeness of his parents...
Enderkate4 20
There is a time and a place for puns. This is not the time.
chaosmanfun 7
But this is the place sooo.. It balances out.
Gib31 19
Sorry but this happened... In a plane? like, among other passengers and all? I mean, doing this next to your sleeping son is already awkward, but in public, it is worse in my opinion! (even though most people sleep)
RedPillSucks 33
it was a dimly lit flight, and they probably were not in the isle seat, so probably no one but the son saw
dat_becky 17
they probably used the son to block themselves lol, totally rational.
ea247 20
wow that really sucks!
BobOsso_fml 8
Yeah she did.