Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
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Top comments
EggsinaBasket 9
Must have really blown to wake up to that.
GoldFishPony 21
I hope your mom is willing to fund the therapy you'll need now
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Comments (93)
Jack_Me_Off_Jerk 5
Maybe he had a itch.
youtuberRontmann 5
sorry... I don't even know what to say
Icellea 1
Back when I was in high school I was riding the bus to the middle school one day and I have the horrific memory of the couple in the seat behind me giving/receiving a ******** on a very crowded bus. I think I was the only one that noticed because I was the quiet kid.
Icellea 1
To make matters even worse I remember the guy telling the girl to quit because he didn't love her and she was like of course you do silly. I was wayyyy too disturbed to even say anything.
dakotaabriannee 14
WOW
Hash13 13
My sympathies .
Mrtigerblue 14
apparently there are a lot of prudes on FML. sure it sucks for the kid but those parents are awesome. I mean sure the kid will have issues but that can be forgotten just close your eyes and listen to a book or something. props to the parents who are doing something fun and safe, no one else would see(probably) and they get added excitement, I see no problem with this. well I guess I'd make sure my kid was asleep but I mean after that it's fair game(although also a act that would get you to be a sex offender if prosecuted)
Spark_Slicker 19
You're ******* weird.
Mrtigerblue 14
#123 maybe I'm a little weird. have a few kinks, exhibitionism being one of them but I don't view that as bad or unhealthy even as long as it's controlled, like I wouldn't just **** someone over a table in public but maybe finger them in a booth where no one can see. there's no harm in that
AylaMarie92 18
You're awesome. I'd do that too lol
Spark_Slicker 19
It's unlikely when you do sexual acts in crowded public places that nobody notices. But the point is you shouldn't feel entitled to do whatever sexual thing you want in front of other people who didn't consent to it. It's common freakin decency. ESPECIALLY right next to your CHILD. And depending on what age they are, it could be considered sexual child abuse.
interesting33 37
The point is it was in a public place. I think it is fine to have excitement and I get it, if you spice it up by doing it outside or something but on a flight with other passengers it will just make people uncomfortable. It is not an appropriate place when other people are in the room.
Mrtigerblue 14
#131 I don't give a damn about common decency. as far as other people seeing it isn't common practice to stare at other people in public. I wouldn't go for a bj but that's because if they did look yes there would be issues and I don't want to be on the sex offender list, but a hand job or fingering no problem and inconspicuous. I wouldn't care about other people doing the same and I wouldn't look at them. as far as child abuse I doubt it. they are e not forced to watch or participate, that being said I would have made the child sit in a different row but that's me. #141 a crowded room is totally fine as long as you don't get caught. if they do notice yeah it'll cause lots of uncomfortablity but I doubt they would notice in this situation. blankets and pillows can hide an awful lot also as I said people are too polite to stare at others.
Spark_Slicker 19
So it's impolite to stare at other people but perfectly fine to finger someone in front of strangers? Wow, dude. Real classy. And it doesn't even matter what your feelings about it is, it's against the law. So I really hope you are as stealthy at sexual acts as you think you are, otherwise you'll be having some run ins with the law.
ADBurns 22
Forget red eye.... That image will burn the back of your brain for years to come... my condolences OP.
worldclassrager 41
At least go to a lavatory...
bobslawnservice 16
On the plus side your parents seem happily married and I doubt they are getting divorced any time soon.
coutney93 12
I would yell at them and tell them that it's simply ****** up