Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML
Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
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Top comments
Mysanitywins 10
Mom-1 GF-0
rockhound 0
Well, his mom IS awesome.
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Comments (124)
madmadd 0
awkward silence... especially caus u have no shirt on...
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
threesome? come on! you know Im not the only one thinking it....right?
MrsLender_fml 3
So what? Climb on top of him and then say "Okay and now I'll show you how awesome I am!"
mz_booty 0
lol competion in the bedroom!!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Op, take your little mommas boy and show him how to be a man(;
RedPillSucks 33
While singing at the top of her lungs... her: In just seven days, I can make you a Maaahaaahaaahaahaaannn!! him:Maamaaaaaaa ooooohhoooooh. Didn't mean to make you crrrryyyyy!
sourgirl101 29
27 knows what's up!(: OP massages are the best! Gotta love a man that's great with his hands!(: On you, not just himself)
sourgirl101 29
27 knows what's up!(: OP massages are the best! Gotta love a man that's great with his hands!(: On you, not just himself)
ClickMyPicture 0
27- Looks like you did your research
zkchild 0
You gotta out Do her now.
zakkyzebra 11
@56, rocky horror picture show ftw!
dragonaair 5
lol
priscilla_28 5
Maybe his mom is awesome.
SilenceIsSilver 0
Maybe she is, so why don't you grab him by the shirt, say "that's wonderful. Let's have sex." and get it on?
rockhound 0
Well, his mom IS awesome.
WHAT_THA_PHUCK 0
Your mom is really awesome!
Zmeilerr 22
moms are awesome
Mysanitywins 10
Mom-1 GF-0
GuitarNukka520 5
oh man that's gotta suckkkk
Reyann 0
yeaa
lostness 0
he was saying your boobs look like his moms. your boobs are old and saggy!
movie141 0
time a boob job
Quest_ 13
Three hours and twenty two minutes!
RedPillSucks 33
Quest, WTF??? OP, were you lying face up, or face down?
mylifesucksserio 15
leave thats creepy, he shouldn't be thinking of his mother whilst your topless.
cooldukenukem 2
you're
mylifesucksserio 15
what
forestqueenie 0
facepalm ugh
Poomoobear 0
touche
iSitt 0
live fast die poor or live slow die rich
stevenJB 25
Touché*
Alleged_Cranium 7
I smell a threesome.
iliketurdles 7
I was not aware they have a distinct smell?
Alleged_Cranium 7
They smell like "awesome". Which is kind of a mix of Patchouli and Astroglide.
lovexbox 8
That's beyond awkward!