Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
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Top comments
EggsinaBasket 9
Must have really blown to wake up to that.
GoldFishPony 21
I hope your mom is willing to fund the therapy you'll need now
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Comments (93)
dmbfan31 7
How does anyone deserve to see that?
captainsmegma 12
Rock on mom, rock on!
patd77 12
This has to be one of the best fml that I have read. That suxs man.
fmlcommenter1016 3
would've stood up and yelled "does anybody have Clorox or anything that will make me not see"
vikky538 29
you could have asked the flight attendant for some facial tissues...the whole family needs it... I would recommend bleach added ones for you...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
You're gonna need some new eyes.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I mean, you're gonna need new eyes OP.
WellHelloThere47 19
how is that any different
inowhtthefoxsays 20
Look on the bright side op. Could have been someone other than your dad!!!!
freehandjobs 6
I woulda have totally embarrassed them lol
yungmumma88 10
Look at it this way, if they're getting some they're not gonna be cranky XD
barnesburner 4
Even a handy would have been too much.