Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
The bed is lava
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Hello from the other side
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Hell no!
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Nervous
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Double standards
Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Slight hiccup
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Help!
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Top comments
nerdyninjarobot 5
Holy shit that bitch needs to be fired. That is so out of line!
SolarLunix 21
Super unprofessional. Report her!
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Comments (233)
saj_nursetobe 8
Woah.. so unprofessional & so rude! Hope you said something to her.
aimeeturoczy 1
Dude wtf! Report her! She will get fired!
MrUnkn0wn 13
I would sue her!
ashtic 20
Why report her, like everyone here doesn't say unbelievably crude things to coworkers when they think they are alone
harmtouch16 11
I don't...of course I'm not a sadistic psychopath. Why report her? Um perhaps if she can say something sick like that, who knows what she could do if left alone with the infant?
Fmlsea 28
umm they werent alone they were in the room with the parents ! and even if they are frustrated they could asked abother nurse to watch to patient so the bitch could have her smoke . theres no excuse for her behaviour other then shes a mental bitch.
Fmlsea 28
theres no way in hell id want that nurse in the delivery room , let alone near my baby after hearing a comment like that . the stupid nurse should of kept her comments to herself.
SA2001_fml 5
Hopefully the smoking kills that compassion lacking bitch. What a cold hearted person to choose one cigarette over a baby!
xLifeisGoodx 10
So a cigarette is worth more than an unborn child's life? The world we live in...
JKPwnage 27
If she's a nurse, you think she'd know better than to smoke
wsj93 6
Just shows they let anyone be a nurse now. They just want the money and don't give a shit about the job and helping people.
soulxreaperx356 9
hell no, you make sure that bitch gets fired, no way that kind of conduct can fly in that environment.
BexR 11
As a fellow resident of BC, I agree that the nurses here are super bitchy! (Not all, just quite a few) but that's absolutely unacceptable!!! You need to report her