Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
The bed is lava
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Hello from the other side
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Hell no!
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Nervous
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Double standards
Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Slight hiccup
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Help!
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Top comments
nerdyninjarobot 5
Holy shit that bitch needs to be fired. That is so out of line!
SolarLunix 21
Super unprofessional. Report her!
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Comments (233)
nellyphant 18
Report her! She shouldn't be allowed to work with babies if that's her attitude!
imbedderdenu 23
I would report that ****! But it's socialized medicine right? She probably won't get fired. But I would do EVERYTHING in my power to make her life hell. I'm sorry to read this. it's pathetic how people act. I hope both wife and baby are ok.
harmtouch16 11
Well after I had punched the bitch in the throat and **** I would have been calling for the head of the hospital and the police for my wife's protection. If she can say something like that who knows what else she could do to your wife and/or your baby while he/she was alone with her in the nursery. I've recently seen a video where a nurse was slapping babies as they cried in the nursery. It's enraging. I mean get another ******* job, psycho. Seriously though. Follow up please!!!
dcea 17
Holy shit that's sick. Instead of posting it i'd be beating the living shit out of that bitch.
ILikeKoalas 24
That is disgusting! You seriously need to report her and get her fired! If she said that about you, no doubt she has a horrible attitude towards other patients too.
Twisted_Angel 17
You should have gone up to her, told her to get the hell out, then reported her not only to her boss, but the health board. that is not okay at all. and it's probably not the first time she's said it. just do your best to make sure it's her last. hope your wife and baby are okay.
sylvienoir 18
Nurses say stuff like that all the time. My mom works in the OR and they say they hope a patient dies on the way to surgery so they don't have to operate. Medical professionals are jaded and don't see life and death the same way a normal person does, although she DEFINITELY should have made sure you weren't around to hear it. She should be reprimanded for what she said, but at least they say it about everyone, and it's not personal.
devi_916 39
That really doesn't make it any better.
Fmlsea 28
if they are saying shit like that then they shouldnt be working in that field anymore end of story.
Krypt1c 11
I totally understand if you need to smack a bitch. it's acceptable in this situation
Drnknmonkey08 12
omg report her ass!!!
codyandjessie99 8
o my god I u turned that in and got her ass fired