Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
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Top comments
nerdyninjarobot 5
Holy shit that bitch needs to be fired. That is so out of line!
SolarLunix 21
Super unprofessional. Report her!
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Comments (233)
FMLusername969 21
Contact the Division of Professional licensure in your area. They will investigate and take action if necessary.
devi_916 39
If the bitch hates her job that much she needs to ******* quit. I sincerely hope you reported her and she lost her job so that she can't afford to buy her precious cigarettes anymore.
FUBAR_88 14
What a bitch, that was totally uncalled for and unprofessional. You're wife can't help the amount of time she is in labour she would be exhausted, I really hope she didn't hear the nasty comment. I hope you have a happy and healthy baby and you and your wife are doing well.
briellek96 13
You definitely need to report her. I hope your wife and child are doing well!
Kristyanne 13
that's rude as **** I hope u got that **** fired for that shit i would have punched the bitch in the face
effdatshit 4
People like that don't deserve the privilege of helping parents bring their baby into the world. Definitely needs to be fired, I hope you spoke to someone about it :/
dreadlocmask 15
Report that dumb ass nurse.
KrDizzy 16
But did he/she die?
Jflowers9296 14
Not a good way to ask about the status of the baby.
Fmlsea 28
if that nurse was left in the delivery room then she probably would of. im just hoping the op demanded a new nurse and then reported that nurse after the baby was born .
KrDizzy 16
You obviously haven't watched any of the Hangover movies..
Bluemonster3 26
You should have told her that you heard it, then had a go at that bitch, then reported her. If the hospital management was any good, they would fire her. No one should ever say that!! Stupid bitch
Jflowers9296 14
Please tell us you confronted that heartless bitch! I hope everything went well with labor op.