Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
The bed is lava
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Hello from the other side
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Hell no!
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Nervous
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Double standards
Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Slight hiccup
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Help!
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Top comments
nerdyninjarobot 5
Holy shit that bitch needs to be fired. That is so out of line!
SolarLunix 21
Super unprofessional. Report her!
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Comments (233)
bebooneo 11
congrats on the new baby, I m a nurse and that seriously sucks to hear that coming from another nurse! is super unprofessional and you should report her to the charge nurse or floor manager. good luck with the baby!! :-)
game0ver_fml 18
Wow. I'm not usually one to go overboard, but I would be demanding to see her superiors and threatening to sue if he license isn't pulled/sje isn't immediately relieved of her position. If she is that desperate for a smoke now, and is saying things that awful, who's to say that she isn't getting frustrated in the nursery and abusing the babies or other patients?! That comment was absolutely out of line and that **** has NO business working as a nurse, let alone a labor and delivery nurse. Maybe it's because I just had a baby myself, but I sincerely hope that bitch gets hit by a bus.
allforfun 23
You need to report that to the charge nurse, and also the director of nursing in case the charge nurse sweeps it under the rug.
KribAndSpek 9
What a bitch
MorganBall04 14
You need to report her!
holdaloverclose 14
**** your wife's life
drrobotnik1 18
follow her into the smoking area and put that ******* cigarette out in her eye. you won the jackpot, sue the hospital
iwood214 14
Dude, **** your wife's life. I can only imagine what never ending labor feels like
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I hope your wife at least had an epidural. And I'd definitely report that bitchy nurse. That is a terrible thing to say for one, and two, saying it so she can take a smoke break and give herself and everyone around her lung cancer? Wrong on a million levels. She needs her ass fired!
bizzy4581 12
Report her. Report her and the coworker for not reporting her once they heard her say it. She is a horrible person.