Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I reduced a customer to tears and she had a tantrum, saying that nobody loves her, her life is a joke, and she’d be better off dead. This ordeal happened to grab the attention of my manager who was nearby. All I did was tell her that an item she wanted was sold out and offered to help her order it online. FML
Today, as I was pulling into work at 15 weeks pregnant, I projectile vomit all over myself and my vehicle. I had an emotional breakdown as I went back home, and called my boss to let him know I would not be in that day. I am now looking for a new job. FML
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Top comments
samsonity 5
What kind of conversation was that
tounces7 28
Don't you have cell phones?
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Comments (3)
samsonity 5
What kind of conversation was that
jayqwe1 5
that happened to me and my dad when i was like 6 in best buy but could your wife just call or text you
tounces7 28
Don't you have cell phones?
Chazzster 32
There are stores (with metal frame and roof) that do not have cellular service once you are inside. Our local Target store is like that. Unless you are at the front near the big windows there is no cellular service.