Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
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Top comments
nerdyninjarobot 5
Holy shit that bitch needs to be fired. That is so out of line!
SolarLunix 21
Super unprofessional. Report her!
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Comments (233)
nerdyninjarobot 5
Holy shit that bitch needs to be fired. That is so out of line!
sorainu 18
Agree. Disgraceful. She should have been fired a long time ago.
rainbotato 14
Seriously! f your wifes life op
ScarredVox92 16
Yeah I would have her job if I were you, OP.
lexwilder 16
I would not have kept my mouth shut about that.
okaydisarray 17
Absolutely. OP, you need to report her. Even if she wasn't serious, that's extremely disrespectful and not the least bit funny.
sweetbliss3 37
as someone who works in the medical field and also smokes, that is completely out of line. I hope you reported her and I seriously hope she got fired. that's just ignorant and she doesn't deserve her job.
daisylokes 16
thats a sick thing to say.... i hope you did report her!! makes me wonder if any of the nurses said anything like that when i was in labor.... i really hate how people out there get a career like that and they cant even handle it!
joeyl2008 29
Your comment had 666 likes
johannah1993 7
I was going to say the same thing! Especially around newborn babies!!! I would be very angry to find out that the nurse handling my brand new baby had just had a smoke break. The toxins will still be on her clothes and that stuff increases the risk of SIDs amongst so many other things. On top of that her unprofessionalism is inexcusable. The hospital would be dumb not to fire her, she's a lawsuit waiting to happen!
SolarLunix 21
Super unprofessional. Report her!
Ms_ValS 27
Clearly it's your life here that sucks OP. We all sympathise with you. On a side note, don't tell your wife that, she might actually kick the nurse or something. But definitely report her. That's a really unprofessional and not to mention heartless thing to say.
MRSwick2525 23
Sometimes it doesn't even help to report it. A nurse was making fun of my sister when she was dying and kept saying she had to go home and clean the Kitty litter box. The nurse kept repeating it and laughing saying this chick has no clue and she just needs to go to Hospice. We reported her to her managing Nurse and she just said she must be having a long difficult day and she will try to have a little chat with her about it. She never did speak to her.
L0lllll 0
You can sue that nurse for emotional distress
SolarLunix 21
#58 Omg, nurses like that totally... my mother is a nurse, and a lot of my friends are nurses, and hearing about disrespectful abusive nurses like that drives me up the bloody wall. I'm sorry that that happened to you, I hope that that nurse wasn't assigned to your room anymore. #66 I second that.
Vanessa_Leeann26 17
Exactly! There was a doctor here who was just sued for talking crap about the patient while they were under anesthesia. The patient accidentally recorded the entire operation. It serves her right. Doctors and nurses are there to help people not talk crap about them. If you're irritated with someone, then go home and take it out on your pillow or something. Don't talk crap within ear shot.
ThatHorse 15
that's when you punch the nurse and tell them to get the **** out. Seriously anyone who even thinks that doesn't deserve a job where they work with unborn and recently born children.
ThatHorse 15
This is honestly why I think that to be a nurse or doctor (or firefighter or other related job) you shouldn't be allowed to actively smoke even when off duty. Not that it's bad for you (even though it is) but because the cravings can lead to situations where you need to stay for extended periods helping others without the ability to smoke a cigarette. It can lead to disaster if the cravings become bad enough because you might make mistakes or cut corners to finish the job faster.
JustinJK 21
A lot of hospitals have nonsmoking policies now. Like the cleveland clinic. They test you for nicotine and if you're positive you don't get the job. they'll retest you 90 days later to reconsider.
ThatHorse 15
That's good. I hope more places pick up on the practice.
shepp626 11
At least in my city firefighters have to sign a contract saying they won't dip/smoke or anything like that, but I think that has more to do with cancer rates.
ThatHorse 15
as long as they're doing it then I don't think it matters. Because the thing is addiction can grow to staggering levels and if someone who holds the lives of many people in their hand get a sudden and overwhelming craving for a cigarette or alcohol or some such thing then it can easily lead to the loss of life.
Mossyoak_kw 28
That is seriously ****** up. I would definitely report her ass.
thefmlman2011 37
what a bitch!
boating_guy 33
She needs to be reported and fired. That's your ******* job. How could anyone ever say that about a child being born...
Tora_Fang 5
because they get paid well and only care about the money
may14th 26
Talk to her boss. She deserves to be fired.
Afroninja4566 21
Really I never could understand why anyone can say things like that. Report that bitch
worldclassrager 41
If someone says YDI you should die in a hole... Hope everything goes well OP
MrConcise 35
They say some nurses actually become sociopathic over time and essentially end up letting patients die or intentionally killing them since they're "gonna die anyway". ****** up, right? They need to do frequent psychological evaluations in that field.
CaitiieBuggs 23
I've never heard that before, but that is interesting in a morbid kind of way. I have heard nurses have one of the highest drug abuse rates in an occupation, because they have so much contact with different medications. I wonder if there is a correlation between the two?
DoomedGemini 38
There's some nurses or doctors that will cause patients to go into a life threatening condition just so they can save them and be seen as a hero. The one big case I heard of was actually with babies since they can't really tell even if they survive.
GhostFox 34
They don't necessarily "become" sociopaths as a result of their career. They become desensitized to things that are awful and unpleasant-dealing the sick and dying of all ages, cleaning up human waste matter, etc, etc. People who get like this are described as jaded or labeled as burnings, and good superiors suggest the worker dind an alternative noob in a different field. However, the nurse was way out of line to put her nicotine fix as being more important than a human being born. As to the "making people sick so you can save them and be a hero thing," you are most likely referring to 'Munchausen syndrome by proxy' where a person (any person, but it has to be a person in a position to act as a caregiver) exaggerates or otherwise falsifies the symptoms of another to get gratification from caring for or what hint the person be cared for. Also, not even police officers have psychology evaluations as often as they should, and they have government funding. Hospitals have to turn a profit.