Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was accidentally rude to a customer and she told me to kill myself. My boss came over, told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with the customer, and then said, "I have no idea where you got this delusion that anyone would be sad if you died." FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Today, I got the hiccups at work no fewer than ten times in a row. I'm a cashier and not allowed to leave to go get water. Not only that, but I was called into the office to discuss my “drinking problem.” I don’t drink. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, I walked into the office bathroom and saw my manager in tears. I tried to comfort her and gave her a hug. Turns out, she wasn’t crying, she was having a sneezing fit, and looked horrified at my sympathy hug. FML
Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML
Today, I reduced a customer to tears and she had a tantrum, saying that nobody loves her, her life is a joke, and she’d be better off dead. This ordeal happened to grab the attention of my manager who was nearby. All I did was tell her that an item she wanted was sold out and offered to help her order it online. FML
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Top comments
Leviathene 34
Don't get too close, you'll catch the stupid.
OlRed 28
I'm sure now you are wishing you had tried to scare her to death instead.
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Comments (30)
purplemango 21
And then she tried sueing you? :P
OlRed 28
I'm sure now you are wishing you had tried to scare her to death instead.
H4H 15
People will find anything to sue about nowadays
yerawizardlizzy 27
No one is suing anyone.
Jackimo98 24
It's Canada, there's less willynilly suing
H4H 15
There are people who deliberately jump in front of cars and endanger themselves just for a lawsuit
Leviathene 34
Don't get too close, you'll catch the stupid.
MyUsernameisEpic 29
Stupidity seems to be her severe medical condition.
maikeru1979 23
I get hiccups 2-3 times a day, but they are not Normal hiccups they are actually Epileptic Seizures that are in the area of the brain that controls the diaphragm causing the hiccups SO *** U & YOUR "Stupidity seems to be her severe medical condition"
BoneCollector 16
Sounds to me that she's the one with mental problems... What you suggested her to try is a pretty common tip/trick. I hope your boss sided with you and realized you weren't physically covering her mouth and nose to make sure her hiccups went away... I could see her telling your boss that you were trying to kill her then
zeffra13 31
She told the boss "he wanted me to kill myself", not "he tried to kill me" so if the boss asked for any further explanation I'm sure he'd figure it out.
Mathalamus 25
why do people do that...?
ohthebloodygore 16
Same reasons you continue posting comments, idiocy. Plain and simple my friend.
sylvienoir 18
do what, be dickheads or hold their breath when they have hiccups? 1) she's crazy like tons of other crazies 2) it keeps your diaphragm from contracting if you fill your lungs with air to capacity and eventually they will stop contracting randomly
maikeru1979 23
Unless the person with the Hiccups is having a Seizure. It has been proven by several Neurologists that Epileptics(as I am) have them more than normal persons. They are still hiccups but not "normal" because they are caused by malfunctions of electrical signals in the brain. I have sat with my Neurologist during an EEG(electroencephalogram) having a hiccup fit and the EEG machine was going crazy showing that my hiccups are more often than not Seizures(a Severe Medical Condition)
Tripartita 45
Now is your chance to lock eyes with your coworker, lower your brows, and proclaim, "Ridding oneself of physical ailments always comes at a price! If that price is life, it shall be gladly paid, for we should work tirelessly towards eradicating the scourge that is… the hiccups."
may14th 26
You just gotta laugh at something like this
latsyrk 3
This is a learning moment OP. There's no helping stupid.
False_Stupidity 42
I get the impression that either she knew full well about that common cure for hiccups but was out to cause trouble. Unless she is so stupid she's practically a vegetable.