Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
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Top comments
sydie5 12
She will never look at Skittles the same again...
heyhihello95 12
Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.
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Comments (328)
talhakr 3
Not **** ur life, **** your wife!
kai_ngo 0
Er... No.
j_cat187 20
**** sarcastic chicks, right in the ass
bms1996 12
silly little girl,she should know that the devil doesn't have a wife!!......does he?
numberswoman 14
No, no, no! The devil is beating his wife when the sun is shining while it's raining! What is wrong with your wife?
mrahhhhh 21
That's when you tell your wife, "That's right. But I'm the devil's homeboy so he will pimp slap you, his wife, using me as a vessel, every time there's a rainbow." God, I hope I didn't mess up with the commas.
AmberCanFlyy 4
Kinky?
KasaraEm13 12
Wow, not only did she ruin rainbow's for the kid, she also got the quite wrong. "The devil must be beating his wife again" is when it's a sun shower (raining, but still slightly sunny). Seriously, Google and correct your wife. She deserves *that* much. I would post the Wiki link to a Sunshower, but yeah.
KasaraEm13 12
*quote Fricking typos.
HoneyMonkey 3
why would she say that??
arrowsshot 0
that's hot
bntilley 2
That's wrong, the devil beats his wife when it's raining while the sun is shining. Your wife failed!
misshighjinks 5
Somethings wrong with her.