Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
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Top comments
sydie5 12
She will never look at Skittles the same again...
heyhihello95 12
Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.
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Comments (328)
Ashle1gh 14
Tell your wife that the next time your daughter cries, you'll beat her.
Dalliance 4
Hilarious. Both the original FML and this comment have unclear referents. In the FML, who won't stop crying, the wife or the daughter? And in this comment, who are you going to beat the next time the girl cries, the wife or the daughter? Obviously with critical reading skills you can figure out the answers to these questions, but wow, some people do not know how to write.
auriane_fml 19
I wanted to explain her comment to you but i'm not even going to bother. Just read it again and hopefully you will understand it.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Speak for yourself. It implies the daughter won't stop crying due to the mother being psycho on her hopes and dreams of rainbow hunting.
Dalliance 4
Um, if you would read my comment again, you'd realize that I DO understand it. I was merely pointing out a common grammatical error that a lot of people make on this site. Must've offended some of them.
Habling 6
No. Just stop. I think every one understood what she wanted to say, no need for Sherlock Holmes to explain it to us.
kbt13 0
35, Shut the **** up
dd809 9
- 35/52 Thank you! I understand that you were just pointing out grammatical errors. It's funny that people get so defensive about this. Apparently those people also have no idea how to properly speak the English language. Children, this is why you should stay in school.
Ferretface 13
Yo grammar Nazi's. This is FML, not a college paper.
DocBastard 40
Yo Ferretface, it's the English language no matter where you are.
tona01 16
Even his username sounds like an insult a small child would say -you are a ferretface!
MonieeKay 9
117 & 52 - I know
MonieeKay 9
Sorry, I ment to say: I know you think you can change the world by correcting everyone, but do you think they'll really care if they didn't take time to do these grammatical changes in the first place? Just thumbs it down and move on. I'm tired of seeing all you grammar natzis
6u174r_d00d 6
Your mother is a grammatical error
boredblonde 17
Ummm wtf?
Miamouse 0
My heart just died a little ?
bro1oke 0
Wow your wife is.. Sadistic.
sematariux 7
and your seductive!
intothecrypt 3
130, high five for not being gay!
ladiesman219 4
Hope there arnt any rainbows anytime soon
craZgal321 6
obviously
superangryandy 2
Or double rainbows
ImmaB3AST 7
She's a keeper...
kai_ngo 0
You meant to type not after that, right? Right?!
lilovatch 4
It's about time to take her to a psychiatrist
leadman1989 16
Or therapist... read it really slowly ;p
fightingkittens 39
As ridiculously stupid as I find that word fail to be, it was slightly uncalled-for.
2ndSucks 15
She sounds like a colorful person.
LexBvl 4
Monkeys don't have that kind of imagination.
j_cat187 20
Racist, I have the stupidest comment on fml
ImmaB3AST 7
No it's not sarcasm at all... (... Refers to my sarcasm)
mrmusicman97 4
why would you even like say that i dont get it
nisey3313 11
There is an expression that when the sun is out and its raining the devil is beating his wife. OP's wife got confused.
sourgirl101 29
It is an expression/saying. >.
MD_DILF 4
I agree, where the hell is the connection?
TheLastChild 8
There's something seriously wrong with your wife, OP.