MrOh
Canada
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Mountain View, United States
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Dumbfounded
Padre Island Ntl Seashor, United States
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Anonymous
Boston, United Kingdom
Affection breakdown
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Anonymous
Greensburg, United States
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Anonymous
United States
Bad sign(s)
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
divorced
United States
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Anonymous
Marriage doesn't solve anything
Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML
dazedandconfused
Dorking, United Kingdom
Puzzled
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
Anonymous
Told you so
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Top comments
bthomas0319 2
Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says
kaylynheartsyou 10
Then dont talk to her for one day.
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Comments (246)
kai_ngo 0
Horoscopes are often accurate, sometimes, they are dead wrong through. And to do exactly as a horoscope says, is often moronic.
physicist48 0
Horoscopes are only right because they say really vague things. There is no special power of them.
KiddNYC1O 22
You tell that to Walter Mercado.
daisyloo 7
When you read a horoscope, you automatically try to find something that fits the description without even realizing it. That's why they are all so vague and hardly are right.
spartan522114 0
They are only accurate because they are ridiculously general in anything they say. It applies to half the population.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
And thats a bad thing???
Gothmonkey7 3
I like turtles XD
savagearmz 6
Ha very superstisis, writing on the wall!
FMLephant 2
Good song. So, I forgive the spelling.
SxE_Danielle_TD 5
She's a keeper.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
NOT!
Quasar55_fml 18
I'd say she's a dumbass.
jp941 5
you should show another woman your penis right in front of her shes bound to talk to you then
poocherz97 3
cool your jibbles. tomorrows another day
mynameis1339 0
Cool your jibbles? That's a new one
xOashleymarie 0
Most men would be happy to be you for this one day.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
No kidding! If I could go even an hour without my girlfriend texting or calling me I'd be in hog heaven. Ladies, we enjoy your company, but when you can't go more than an hour without bothering us, you have issues. Hmm....FML?
physicist48 0
You married an idiot.
fips_the_monkey 0
Uuuuh u should say the horoscope told u to get out and have fun every day
Souners 3
Sounds reasonable.