Not now, mother!

Knock next time please

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

Unwanted guest

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

So frustraaaatiiiiiing

Today, after my husband told me he doesn't enjoy having sex unless he initiates it, my mother-in-law barged into my bedroom only to find me pleasing myself. FML

The all-seeing eye

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

Thanks mom

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

Alone time

Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML