Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, my husband wants a divorce. His reason, so he claims, is that he went to see a card reader a few months ago and she told him our relationship would not last. Apparently, our astrological signs or something are not compatible, so he thinks we shouldn't waste our time. We've been married for 8 years. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
If the evidence of being together long enough to become engaged isn't enough for your fiancé to ignore an astrologer, then she is pretty much plain ignorant.
MsConfusedd 27
Just go outside at night and point at the stars and say "As you can cleary see, Capricorn is facing Gemini which is under the north star. Obviously, the stars agree that we were meant to be, otherwise Leo would be to the left!"
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Comments (133)
reject214 10
Dump her now!
reject214 10
I was number 1. Oh yeah. Do the happy dance!
ByronJess 17
Oh, would you perhaps like a gold star to put on your forehead? I mean, being the first to comment on an FML is such a life changing and mind altering event.
sunnyt 5
"Honey.. I think our marriage should be called off because my horoscope said so. It says I am compatible with a Leo, and sadly you are a Virgo."
reject214 10
Time for the poor sap to dump her butt because if she's like this now imagine what she'll be like after their married.
reject214 10
Darn right it is!
kevsnev 7
OP should show his fiancé why she agreed to marry him (not dump her) by spending time with her and taking her out on dates. Just like how the guy in "The Vow" did. ;D
loloalltheway 23
I dont agree with nr.1 because OP should convince her to go on with the marriage because they love Each other and probably been dating for a while be4 the proposal. Like come on, you fight for the 1 you love!!!! You don't just give up !!!!
sMhiebert 1
The Vow was based on a true story. The couple it was based on now have kids and are happily married again.
ThomasScott 7
**** The Vow, talk some sense into her!
Dekarian 7
57- Damm? I think you meant Damn.
caitigirl13 3
Actually, that movie is based on the true life events of a couple who went through the very same things and is now happily married today. No Hollywood bullshit there
onlychildFTW 34
I'm sure Hollywood added some creativity to make it a little more interesting. It's BASED on a true story. Not a documentary. So hollywood had some fun in the creativity department. I'm sure.
andrew6p 19
The vow was based on a true story
KBeatz 5
If the evidence of being together long enough to become engaged isn't enough for your fiancé to ignore an astrologer, then she is pretty much plain ignorant.
linstar 13
Either that or she's just making up excuses to get out of the wedding.
godisnowhere41 5
From her ignorance I'd say Your Wife Sucks
datsloblede 2
Am I the only one who read 2's comment in a really stuck-up, upper class voice?
krylonpony 3
Indeed I say.
zandalee 20
I agree with 12. Sounds like she has serious doubts and is desperate to find an excuse, any excuse to be a run away bride. Best it happened now and not later with 2.5 kids and a mortgage!!!
Agsnow 7
Hi
robo_thunder 13
that's not even how astrology works.
dude1122332 9
As far as you know..
robo_thunder 13
Even if you've just read a daily horoscope you'd know it doesn't work like that. Astrology could say their signs are not compatiable, but it never says "you are doomed end this now".
thisgirlysfml 2
It's not just about their sign; if they went to an astrologer he or she looked every aspect of their chart, which actually can say a lot about a couple
yumgranolabar 5
Yes, because astrology totally "works"...
thiscrazything 1
She is probably just using it as an excuse, anyway, as a reason to get out of the relationship.
docscientist 10
Your first mistake was thinking astrology works.
xpheonix57 7
She's right you know. True astrologers don't just tell you that your marriage is going to fail. My guess is that something else is on her mind, and a bit of negative news from the astrologer has become her excuse because she doesn't want to hurt him. If she loves him fully, his perks and his flaws, do you really think she would end it over the word of an astrologer?
Ch0sen 13
Actually, it did work - see, their relationship is definitely doomed now.
lidsthesquid 4
I'm guessing you're an astronomer?
st0815 9
There is no agreement among astrologers what they claim they can do. The famous French astrologer Élizabeth Teissier predicted that Dominique Strauss Kahn would have a great year. You know 2011 ... the year when he lost his job as director of the IMF, was arrested by the police and had to give up his presidential ambitions. I don't see much of a difference between failing to predict the fate of a presidential candidate and failing to predict the fate of a marriage.
MsConfusedd 27
Just go outside at night and point at the stars and say "As you can cleary see, Capricorn is facing Gemini which is under the north star. Obviously, the stars agree that we were meant to be, otherwise Leo would be to the left!"
randomthing 22
Wow...
Trisha_aus 15
...the sky is indeed blue!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
MOTHER OF GOD. This whole time, I thought it was pink!
False_Stupidity 42
It is pink... on some of my spore worlds.
ImmaB3AST 7
That's just plain retarded. Why do people listen to that? What does the day you were born and where the stars are and all that shit have to do with how you manage your life.
lexiieeex3 32
Please try not to use the word "retarded" it can be extremely offensive... :P
lexiieeex3 32
Sorry I don't mean to be annoying I just have two autistic brothers.
ImmaB3AST 7
I said the situation is retarded. I didn't call anyone retarded.
LivyGirl0611 9
That doesn't help...the word is still offensive to a lot of people.
ImmaB3AST 7
So we can call people dumb asses. Isaid " you deserve it. ******* dumb ass." and it's the top comment on FML. Thats more offensive then calling a situation retarded.
Keliosan 6
People look for reasons to be offended in everything. Just move on with your life.
paddy4169 5
I don't understand how the word retarded can be offensive unless someone said (and I hope they never do) "oh man your autistic brother is retarded." What can you do people seem to forget the various meanings of a word, in this case it means stupid or ridiculous. If it was the meaning you are being 'offended' for then it would translate to-"this situation is mentally inhibited..." which quite frankly doesn't make sense. You're not offended because you're offended, you're offended because society seems that word offensive. So stfu thank you good day.
Bullpine 11
Retarded was originally used to describe people with mental disabilities. The meaning then changed to mean incredibly stupid. That's what's offensive. It's like calling something gay; using the word to mean stupid. Then someone feels bad if they are gay because society has now deemed them as stupid.
alphaskater09 9
I think retarded also means slow. Like a fire retardant suit. Does not stop fire from burning you but it slows it down so you can last longer without getting burned.
Keliosan 6
73- First, retarded was not originally used to describe mentally handicapped people. Second, if you take something out of the context it's used in and feel bad about it, you probably are stupid. Plenty of people don't use words they way they should, and if you run around crying about it life is going to be really tough.
IOmnomHard 10
I really never understood how people can buy into the concept of reading your future through astrological positions and signs.
dmblonde 13
Are you sure you want to marry her? She sounds a bit loopy in the head.
olpally 33
Just a bit loopy?? She sounds like a total nut job... Lol
NissanDriftKing 4
Your beautiful
pavlovaaLOVE 7
Whether she is stupid enough to believe shit like that.... Or is trying to find an excuse to end your relationship, it's pretty clear that u should move the **** on ASAP. Can't stand idiots like that !
A100893 30
Dodged a bullet there if she's that gullible.